Thoughtfood for Wednesday, April 1, 2009

'Pass It On' 

As I read the Big Book daily, I am learning how to stay on the path

that the first one hundred members cleared for me.

Whenever I am feeling low, I think of "Bill's Story," on page 15,

when he was full of self-pity during his trying times:

"When all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic

would save the day."

From the Big Book:

"It is probably true that you and your husband have been living too much alone, for drinking many times isolates the wife of an alcoholic.  Therefore, you probably need fresh interests and a great cause to live for as much as your husband.  If you cooperate, rather than complain, you will find that his excess enthusiasm will tone down.  Both of you will awaken to a new

sense of responsibility for others.  You, as well as your husband, ought to think of what you can put into life instead of how much you can take out.  Inevitably your lives will be fuller for doing so.  You will lost the old life to find one much better.

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, pp. 119-120.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may let God run my life. I pray that I will never again make a mess of my life through trying to run it myself."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 1.

Quote for the day:

"Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress.  Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable."

__Maya Angelou

My share:

I search a couple of sources each day to select a quote on topic.  Sometimes I neglect to consider the overall philosophy of various authors.  In that I am remiss, and apologize to anyone offended or disgusted.  I will try to do better in the future when choosing the Quote for the day.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Lesson

The most important thing I've learned is this:

When I'm feeling bad emotionally,

it's usually my own fault.

In nearly every case,

I had made the choices that had gotten me there.

But AA never said,

"Perhaps this isn't for you.

Perhaps you should go somewhere else."

They always said, "Hang in there. It will get better."

The Steps aren't about not drinking.

They are about how to live sober.

From the Big Book:

"Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home drunk.  If you are satisfied he really wants to get over drinking, you need not be alarmed.  Though it is infinitely better that he have no relapse at all, as has been true with many of our men, it is by no means a bad thing in some cases.  Your husband will see at once that he must redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive. You need not remind him of his spiritual deficiency--he wil know of it.  Cheer him up and aask him how you can be still more helpful."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p 120.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may accept every challenge.  I pray that each acceptance of a challenge may make me grow into a better person."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 2.

Quote for the day:

"They can conquer who believe they can.  He has not learned the first lesson in life who does not every day surmount a fear." 

__Ralph Waldo Emerson

My share:

The challenges of life continue to present themselves everyday.  I do my level best to face those challenges head on. I will admit there are times when I'm not so confident I can handle it but somehow, I manage to muddle through and forge ahead.  I do remind myself often and daily to Let Go and Let God.  Be Good To You, Dave. 

Thoughtfood for Friday, April 3, 2009

An Open Gate

The Fellowship of AA has said that no matter what was out there,

they would stand by me and help me through.

More importantly, a Higher Power of my own understanding

would be there with me,

and they could show me the way to tap into that power.

They were holding that gate open,

but I was going to have to take the action and step across.

From the Big Book:

"The slightest sign of fear or intolerance may lessen your husband's chance of recovery. In a weak moment he may take your dislike of his high-stepping friends as one of those insanely trivial excuses to drink."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 120.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may cooperate with God in all good things.  I pray that I may serve God and others and so lead a useful and happy life."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours  A Day, April 3.

Quote for the day:

"It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously."  __Oscar Wilde

My share:

I certainly know about trivial excuses to drink.  Lord knows I've used them all...well, most of them. I am on constant guard these days against using any of them to end my continuous sobriety. Be Good To You, Dave.

The Solution

I wanted to stop drinking, but I did not like the self-searching

and the leveling of my pride, which was a requirement.

However, I saw that it really worked in others,

so I accepted their suggestion to pick up the simple toolkit

that they laid at my feet.

I was rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence

of which I had never dreamed.  I had found the solution.  

From the Big Book:
"We never, never try to arrange a man's life so as to shield him from temptation.  The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointments or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed.  Make him feel absolutely free to come and go as he likes.  This is important.  If he gets drunk, don't blame yourself."
c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p.120.  

Prayer for the day:
"I pray that I may serve as a channel for God's power to come into the lives of others.  I pray that I may try to understand them."
c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 4.  

Quote for the day: "Believe it can be done.  When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it.  Believing a solution paves the way to solution."  __David Joseph Schwartz  

My share: I yield my share to Mike.  Be Good To You, Dave 

.

A MEMBER SHARES:
My Name is Mike, and I'm an alcoholic.  I hear lots of folks speak at meetings who never mention the Program of AA as outlined in the Twelve Steps and the Big Book.  I think it's important to share about the Steps.  To me that is the solution.  One of the first things my sponsor taught me was that what I bring to a meeting can be just as important, if not more so, than what I get from the meeting.  When someone says he's not getting anything from this meeting, I ask him what is he bringing to the meeting.  Why don't you help to make it more like you want?   I think the most important thing for me is to remember to place principles before personalities.  Listening to what other folks have to say helps me to learn tolerance -- even if I don't particularly like the person.  Often I discover these folks may know something I don't.  This is not hard.  I learn new things every day.  My attitude and outlook on life, people, AA, and myself, determines the course of direction in my thinking.  It's easy to walk into a meeting and to begin making judgments.  When I discover that I've been doing that, I have to remember Step Ten -- look inside myself and see if something needs adjusting.  Is it my Ego?  My pride?  My self-esteem or ambitions?  Am I being self-seeking?  Self-centered?  Do I want others to be running the show the way I think they should run the show?  How do I integrate my life into the Twelve Steps?  Over the past two years, this has been a challenge.  Thank God and this program that TODAY, when these things happen, I have a solution other than drinking.  I have Twelve Steps that can change my thinking, attitudes, and actions.  I have a Higher Power that I can turn to.  I have a wonderful sponsor.  Just the other day, I was having a bad day.  I called an AA friend.  Just by making this simple call, I felt better.  The funny thing is that when I got home, two others called to check on me.  That is what it's all about.  This program saved my life and I am grateful.  It works -- no doubt about that.  Thanks for letting me share.

Procrastination

I wanted to rest on my laurels after my

first attempt at making amends.

I was relieved, and thought my task was finished.

I was tempted to skip the more humiliating

meetings that still remained,

and to find plausible excuses for dodging certain issues.

I wanted to procrastinate, telling myself the time is not yet,

but I was really passing up many

good chances to right serious wrongs.

In AA, I've learned not to talk prudence while practicing evasion.

From the Big Book:
"God has either removed your husband's liquor problem or He has not.  If not, it had better be found out right away.  Then you and your husband can get right down to fundamentals.  If a repetition is to be prevented, place the problem, along with everything else, in God's hands."
c. 1939, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 120.  

Prayer for the day:
 "I pray that I may be in the right relationship to God. 
I pray that God will interpret to me the personalities of other people, so that I can understand them and help them."  

Quote for the day:
"Procrastination is, hands down, our favorite form of self-sabotage." 
__Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby  

My share:
Greetings from Camp Verde.  I'm here at the Area 03 AA Assembly.  Honored and humbled to be in service to my fellow alcoholics.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Monday, April 6, 2009

Trading

I traded dependence on puny self for dependence on God.

I traded resentment for understanding,

fear for trust, selfishness for love.

I traded dissatisfaction for hope, dishonesty for truth.

I traded retaliation for amendment, taking for giving.

I traded sectarian bigotry for tolerance.

Sobriety has become for me an all-inclusive term.

It means everything from not taking the first drink

to enjoying the present twenty-four hours.

From the Big Book:

"We realize that we have been giving you much direction and advice.  We may have seemed to lecture.  If that is so we are sorry, for we ourselves don't always care for people who lecture us.  But what we have related is based upon experience, some of it painful.  We had to learn these things the  hard way.  That is why we are anxious that you understand, and that you avoid these unnecessary difficulties.

So to you out there who may soon be with us--we say 'Good Luck and God bless you!'"

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 121.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may be open to receive God's blessing.  I pray that I  may be willing to relinquish my hold on material things and receive them back from God."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 6.

Quote for the day:

"The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want in the moment."  __anonymous

My share:

As regards the trading of bad habits for good (or at least better) habits, I have been successful with the grossest of them and remain committed to continuing the process to metamorphose the less obvious defects.  I do my best to Let Go and Let God.  Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Wednesday, April 8,  2009

Foundation for Life

There is a direct linkage among self-examination,

meditation, and prayer.
Taken separately, these practices can bring

much relief and benefit.
But when they are logically interwoven,
the result is an unshakable foundation for life.
-As Bill Sees It, p. 33

From the Big Book:

"This involves a process of deflation.  The alcoholic, his wife, his children, his 'in-laws', each one is likely to have fixed ideas about the family's attitude towards himself or herself.  Each one is interested in having his or her wishes respected.  We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the more resentful they become.   This makes for discord and unhappiness."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 122.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may be ready to profess my belief in God before others.  I pray that I may not be turned aside by the skepticism and cynicism of unbelievers.

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 8. 

Quote for the day:

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him."  __David Brinkley

My share:

I was anxious for the miracles to  happen.  I dove into the program with both feet.  My sponsor suggested I slow down a tad.  He knew I wanted my foundation to be sound so he encouraged me to build it on solid ground.   Giving the mortar time to harden proved to be in my best interest.  Be Good To You, Dave

TJ, see you Saturday.

Thoughtfood for Thursday, April 9, 2009

Step Five

"Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

One reason that Step Five is so effective is that what happens is not only the opening to another human being,
but the laying of pride in the dust by letting someone else know the depth and desperation of our need. 

 

From the Big Book:

"Cessation of drinking is but the first step away from a highly strained, abnormal condition.  A doctor said to us.  'Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic.  The entire family is, to some extent, ill.'  Let families realize, as they start their journey, that all will not be fair weather. Each in his turn may be footsore and may struggle.  There will be alluring shortcuts and by-paths down which they may wander and lose their way."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, pp. 122-123.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may let God live in me as I work for Him. 

I pray that I may go out into the sunlight and work with God." 

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 9.

Quote for the day:

"Charlton Heston admitted he had a drinking problem, and I said to myself, "Thank God this guy doesn't own any guns!""  __David Letterman

My share: I will pass today to allow another member to share.  Be Good To You, Dave.

A MEMBER SHARES:
Hi, I'm Sandy, an alcoholic.  You've probably heard the old saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears."  It happened to me.  As I was nearly finished writing my Fourth Step, there she was!  When I asked her to help me work Step Five, she laughed and said, "Sure!"  We set a date; I went to her home carrying my inventory journal.  She put on the tea, we went to the back yard, and prayed that it would be a good thing for both.  I sat there and read my Fourth Step list to her.  She pointed out some things.  It was absolutely everything I had.  I held nothing back.  Of course, I was still quite new, and it wasn't as thorough as it might have been, but it was as thorough as I was capable of at the time.  And when we were done, the sky was bluer, the grass was greener, and the flowers were prettier.  It was wonderful!  I was like a new person, almost as if I'd just had a complete overhaul.  And since I have continued to do it over the years, later Fifth Steps have been far more in-depth, shall we say.  She sent me home that day to burn my journal, pray, and read the Big Book.  And then we moved on.  It was magic!  I highly recommend it. 

Thoughtfood for Friday, April 10, 2009

A Thirst for AA

When he asked if I could stop drinking just for today,

I replied, "Of course, I can -- even a moron could to that,

and I can always drink tomorrow."

I'm grateful that my sponsor kept it simple for just twenty-four hours at a time.

By the time I figured out that tomorrow's drink

 was not going to come,

I didn't want it -- I had developed a thirst for AA.

From the Big Book:

"Suppose we tell you some of the obstacles a family will meet--even converted to good use for others.  The family of an alcoholic longs for the return of happiness and security.  They remember when father was romantic, thoughtful and successful.  Today's life is measured against that of other years and, when it fall short, the family may be unhappy."

c.1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 123.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that God may make His home in my humble and obedient heart.  I pray that I may obey his guidance to the best of my ability." 

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 10.

Quote for the day:

"You should not see the desert simply as some faraway place of little rain.  There are many forms of thirst." 

__William Langewiesche

My share:

It is a miracle that when I thirst these days, I reach for water.  Be Good To You, Dave.

Belonging

They say that alcoholism is a disease of isolation,

and for me, that was very true.

I was filled with fear of the outside world.

When I joined AA, I was relieved to find a supportive family

and a life I rejoice in -- one day at a time.

Discipline

Instead of holding on, I was told to let go.

Instead of using self-control,

I was encouraged to turn my life and my will

over to a God of my own understanding.

I'm beginning to understand.

The renewal of discipline is a process

that I must set in motion every day.

AA is teaching me to wade through grief,

and to take steps of joy

through this powerful gift.  

Thoughtfood for Monday, April 13, 2009

New Beginnings

Every morning offers to us all the chance for a new beginning.

Without our beautiful program,

there could be no new beginnings for me.

How grateful I am we need never graduate from AA.
- Anonymous
 

From the Big Book:

"Now and  then the family will be plagued by spectres from the past, for the drinking career of almost every alcoholic has been marked by escapades, funny, humiliating, shameful or tragic.  The first impulse will be to bury these skeletons in a dark closet and padlock the door.  The family may be possessed by the idea that future happiness can be based only upon forgetfulness of the past.  We think that such a view is self-centered and in direct conflict with the new way of living."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, pp.123-124.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may live in the spirit of prayer.  I pray that I may depend on God for the strength I need to help me to do my part in making the world a better place."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 13.

Quote for the day:

"Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts.  You have to remember this when you find yourself at the beginning."  __Sandra Bullock

My share:

I pass my sharing today to Lori, Be Good To You, Dave

A MEMBER SHARES:
My name is Lori, and I'm an alcoholic.  Once we have some time in the program, our thoughts turn from alcohol to our daily lives.  And in our daily lives, we have deep losses sometimes.  The idea that there will ever be "New Beginnings" can seem like a fantasy.  But we get up when we're knocked down.  We find our way home when we're lost; we see the good in situations that seem hopeless -- all by the Grace of God.  There's an old saying that I love: "You can take what I HAVE, but you can't take what I've HAD."  When we lose something, or someone, they aren't really gone; we still have them in our hearts and souls.  God helps to heal a broken heart.  I know from personal experience.  I've been sober 33 years, and I've had some unimaginable losses in my life, which eventually -- not soon -- led to New Beginnings.   Sometimes God's answer is just "Wait."   He loves us...all of us.  Even when we don't love ourselves very much.  Hold His love near to your heart.  Trudge On!   Thank you for letting me share.

Thoughtfood for Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Making Amends

Step Eight: "Made of list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all."

I don't believe I need apologize for being human;

rather, I simply need to acknowledge that I was at fault

and humbly ask to be pardoned.

I do not need to make amends on my hands and knees;

I need to walk tall, without false pride.

They, too, may have been at fault,

but I am neither their God nor their conscience.

I am responsible only for myself.  

- Anonymous

From the Big Book:

"Henry Ford once made a wise remark to the effect that experience is the thing of supreme value in life. That is true only if one is willing to turn the past to good account.  We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets.  The alcoholic's past thus becomes the principal asset of the family and frequently it is almost the only one!"

c.1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 124.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may dwell with God at the center of my life.  I pray that I may keep that inner peace at the center of my being."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 14.

Quote for the day:

"It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them.  To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character." __Dale E. Turner

My share:
Practicing these principles in all my affairs demands that I remain willing to make amends as needed.   I don't doubt that opportunities to make amends will continue to present themselves. 
Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Showing Up

Showing up for AA Meetings is what it is all about.
If I don't show up, I can't learn.

I am good at isolating with the result
that I lived in my own pitiful, painful world apart from others.
It's not a way I choose to live today.
if I don't "show up" when Fear comes knocking,
then I won't have a way to walk through it

and come out the other side.
Many times I have needed to do just that,
and have had some tremendous revelations as a result.
None of them would have been possible if I hadn't "showed up."

From the Big Book:

"This painful past may be of infinite value to other families still struggling with their problem.  We think each family which has been relieved owes something to those who have not, and when the occasion requires, each member of it should be only too willing to bring former mistakes, no matter how grievous, out of their hiding places."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 124.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may not argue nor contend, but merely state calmly what I believe to be true.  I pray that I may keep myself in that state of calmness that comes from faith in God's purpose for the world."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 15.

Quote for the day:

"Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. 

We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy."  __Joseph Campbell 

My share:

I heard certain oldtimers scoff at the notion that we have any choice in the matter at all. I discarded that rigid position when I realized that though I have no choice in whether I can drink without repercussion, I can, and must choose not to take that first drink.  To ensure that, I must participate in my own sobriety by suiting up and showing up whenever possible.  My very presence at a meeting may make a difference in the life of another alcoholic. Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Thursday, April 16, 2009

Powerlessness

Step One: "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable.

We perceive that only through utter defeat

are we able to take our first steps

toward liberation and strength.

Our admissions of powerlessness

finally turn out to be firm bedrock

upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 21

From the Big Book:

"Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now.  Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest pposession you have--the key to life and happiness for others.  With it you can avert death and misery for them."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 124.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may realize that God loves me, since He is the Father of us all.  I pray that I in turn may have love for all of His children."

c, 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 16.

Quote for the day:

"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?"  __Harry Shearer

My share:

Cute Harry.  I doubt that anyone is absolutely powerless. I accept the things I cannot change, but that is the extent of my powerlessness.   I know there are things I can change, that I have the power to change and those changes must happen within.

Be Good To You, Dave.

Wanting Sobriety

It was a great relief to know I didn't have to drink any more.

I was told that I must want sobriety for my own sake,

and I am convinced this is true.

There may be many reasons that

bring one to AA for the first time,

but the lasting one must be to want sobriety

and the AA way of living for oneself.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 354-55

From the Big Book:

"It is possible to dig up past misdeeds so they become a blight, a veritable plague.  For example, we know of situations in which the alcoholic or his wife have had love affairs.  In the first flush of spiritual experience they forgave each other and drew closer together.  The miracle of reconciliation was at hand.  Then, under one provocation or another, the aggrieved one would unearth the old affair and angrily cast its ashes about. A few of us have had these growing pains and they hurt a great deal." 

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 124.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that my faith may be strengthened every day.  I pray that I may find confirmation of my life in the good things that have come into my life."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 17.

Quote for the day:

"We can respond creatively to what we experience as life-depriving and become richer in spirit for having met the challenge."  __Tad Crawford

My share:

Part of the value in surrendering, in admitting powerlessness over alcohol, was the realization that I didn't "have" to do any of those things again. I didn't have to come to; wondering what I had done the night before, or where I parked the truck, or how I got home, or...didn't get home.   Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Saturday, April 18, 2009

Acceptance

It was a matter of developing the willingness

to accept these new facts of living.

We neither ran nor fought.  But accept we did. 

 And then we were free.

There had been no irretrievable disaster.
- Bill W., AA Grapevine, September, 1975

From the Big Book:

"Husbands and wives have sometimes been obliged to separate for a time until new perspective, new victory over hurt pride could be re-won.  In most cases, the alcoholic survived this ordeal without relapse, but not always.  So we think that unless some good and useful purpose is to be served, past occurrences should not be discussed."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 125.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may warmly welcome all who come to me for help.  I pray that I may make them feel that I really care."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 18.

Quote for the day:

"The first step toward change is awareness.  The second step is acceptance."  __Nathaniel Branden

My share: Awareness led to acceptance for me but it didn't happen overnight.  I was aware that I had a problem with alcohol (though I denied it publicly) long before I accepted it.  Of course acceptance by itself was still not enough.  I needed willingness too.   Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Sunday, April 19, 2009

Warmth of the Heart

AA is not a place;

it's an attitude of mind,

a warmth of the heart --

a spiritual fourth dimension where

material things can't get the upper hand.

it's where accidents and hardships

and common problems draw us together

just as surely as AA parties and conventions and birthdays.
-AA Grapevine, May 1966

From the Big Book:

"We families of Alcoholics Anonymous keep few skeletons in the closet. Everyone knows about the others alcoholic troubles.  This is a condition which, in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense of other people, and a tendency to take advantage of intimate information.  Among us, these are rare occurrences.  We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance."

c.1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 125.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may warmly welcome all who come to me for help.  I pray that I may make them feel that I really care."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 19.

Quote for the day:

"All the statistics in the world can't measure the warmth of a smile."  __Chris Hart

My share:

I'm sure that the warm smiles, the hugs, and the laughter I encountered in those early meetings were the main reasons I kept coming back.  I learned in those meetings that no matter how far down I thought I might have gone, no matter how rotten my life may have been, there was always someone with a tale of more dire straights to tell; that made my own struggles appear to be luxuries.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Monday, April 20, 2009

Transformation

Our eyes begin to open to the immense values

which have come straight our of painful ego-puncturing.

Until now, our lives have been largely devoted to running from pain and problems.

Escape via the bottle was always our solution.

Then in A.A., we looked and listened.

Everywhere we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets.

__As Bill Sees It, p.156

From the Big Book:

"Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve.  We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories.  A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it  will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contrary effect.  Members of a family should watch such matters carefully, for one careless, inconsiderate remark has been known to raise the very devil.  We alcoholics are sensitive people.  It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap."

c. 1939, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 125.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may be in the stream of goodness.  I pray that I may be on the right side, on the side of all the good in the universe."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 20.

Quote for the day:

"When we quit thinking about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness." __Joseph Campbell

My share:

There isn't a day goes by any more when I don't think about the well being of at least one other person besides myself.  That in itself is a major transformation from the massively self-centered me I use to be.  I know the process is on-going, that I am not, and never will be perfect.  But I am pleased with the progress I have made and continue to develop my capacity for caring.  Be Good To You, Dave

Easier, Softer Way 

When I couldn't find an easier, softer way,
I looked for the person with the magic wand,
the one person in AA who could make me all better, right now.
This was a frustrating task,

and I finally realized that if I wanted this life,
I was going to have to do what the others had done.
No one made me drink, and no one

was going to make me stay sober.
This program is for people who want it, not people who need it.

Happiness

Happiness to me is fulfillment,

the satisfaction of knowing that you did the very best

your honestly evaluated limitations would permit

 -- in all phases of living.

Happiness is gratitude for the miracle

which granted another go-around at a life once abandoned.

Happiness is growing up.

It is learning to recognize all the things you really have.

Happiness is for experiencing, as well as remembering. 
 

From the Big Book:

"We think it dangerous if he rushes headlong at his economic problem.  The family will be affected also, pleasantly at first, as they feel their money troubles are about to be solved, then not so pleasantly as they find themselves neglected. Dad may be tired at night and preoccupied by day.  He may take small interest in the children and may show irritation when reproved for his delinquencies.  It not irritable, he may seem dull and boring, not gay and affectionate as the family would like him to be.  Mother may complain of inattention.  They are all disappointed, and often let him feel it.  Beginning with such complaints, a barrier arises.  He is striving to recover fortune and reputation and feels he is doing very well." 

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p, 126. 

Thoughtfood for Thursday, April 23, 2009

Daily Reprieve

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action

and rest on our laurels. 

We are headed for trouble if we do,

for alcohol is a subtle foe.

We are not cured of alcoholism.

What we have is a daily reprieve

contingent on the maintenance

of our spiritual condition.

From the Big Book:

"...He is striving to recover fortune and reputation and feels he is doing very well.  Sometimes mother and children don't think so.  Having been neglected and misused in the past, they think father owes them more than they are getting.  They want him to make a fuss over them.  They expect him to give them the nice times they used to have before he drank so much, and to show his contrition for what they suffered.  But dad doesn't give freely of himself.  Resentment grows.  He becomes still less communicative.  Sometimes he explodes over a trifle.  The family is mystified.  They criticize, pointing our how he is falling down on his spiritual program."

c.1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 126.

Prayer for the day :

"I pray that God may supply me with strength and show me the direction in which He wants me to grow.  I pray that these things may come naturally from my cooperation with Him."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 23.

Quote for the day:

Reprieve:  a relief from something harmful, especially danger or pain.  _Webster's Collegiate Dictionary

My share:

My daily reprieve requires daily effort, especially the renewal of my commitment to improve my conscious contact with my higher power. Be Good To You, Dave

Love and Service

When we love, we will see in others

what we wish to have in ourselves.

We will know that love is a privilege given to us by God.

When we love, we will never be bored with life or our program.

It is what impels us to be active and to get involved in service.

- The Best of the Grapevine [Vol. 3], p. 297

Thoughtfood for Saturday, April 25, 2009

Laughter

When my AA sponsor began to laugh

and point out my self-pity and ego-feeding deceptions,

I was annoyed and hurt,

but it taught me to lighten up and focus on my recovery.

I soon learned to laugh at myself

and eventually I taught those I sponsor to laugh also.

Every day I ask God to help me stop taking myself too seriously.
- Daily Reflections, p. 59

From the Big Book:

"Let them praise his progress.  Let them remember that his drinking wrought all kinds of damage that may take long to repair.  If they sense these things, they will not take so seriously his periods of crankiness, depression, or apathy, which will disappear when there is tolerance, love, and spiritual understanding."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 127.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may use God's goodness so that it will be a blessing to others.  I pray that I may accept God's blessing so that I will have harmony, beauty, joy, and happiness."

c.1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 25.

Quote for the day:

"The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed."  __Bennet Cerf

My share:

I never tire of hearing the message about how AA's can, and do laugh at themselves.  Today, I can laugh at the choices I made when under the influence, and hopefully, by sharing the nature of the consequences of those choices, will help one other person avoid making the same mistakes.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Sunday, April 26, 2009

Resentments

From the Big Book:

"The head of the house ought to remember that he is mainly to blame for what befell his home.  He can scarcely square the account in his lifetime.  But he must see the danger of over-concentration on financial success.  Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first.  For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p.127.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that God's spirit may be my master always.  I pray that I may learn how to rest and listen, as well as how to work."

c. 1975,Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 26.

Quote for the day:

"Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation."  __Roberto Assagioli

My share:

I know a bit about resentments.  I have manufactured them, consumed them, employed them, relied on them, been the cause of them, and finally learned how to discard them.  The most hurtful were the ones I held against myself.  Those resentments others consider me the cause of are none of my business; that is about their program. Life without them is much more peaceful.

Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Monday, April 27, 2009

Fear

When fear persisted, we saw it for what it was,

and we became able to handle it.

We began to see each adversity as a God-given opportunity

to develop the kind of courage which is born of humility,

rather than of bravado.
- As Bill Sees It, p. 91

From the Big Book:

"Since the home has suffered more than anything else, it is well that a man exert himself there.  He is not likely to get far in any direction if he fails to show unselfishness and love under his own roof.  We know there are difficult wives and families, but the man who is getting over alcoholism must remember he did much to make them so."

c.1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p.127.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may have a consciousness of God's presence.  I pray that God will give me spiritual vision."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 27.

Quote for the day:

"Ultimately, we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom."  __Marilyn Ferguson

My share:

The fears I held in early sobriety have not returned.  The promises have all come true in my life and continue to be enhanced.  To protect that serenity, I maintain a healthy fear that I might not survive a relapse.  That ensures I am on constant alert against ever taking that first drink.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Surprise

Somewhat to our surprise, staying sober turns out not to be

the grim, wet-blanket experience we had expected!

While we were drinking, a life without alcohol

seemed like no life at all.

But for most members of AA, living sober is really living

--a joyous experience.

We much prefer it to the troubles we had with drinking.

One more note: Anyone can get sober.

We have done it lots of times.

The trick is to stay sober and to live sober.

From the Big Book:

"As each member of a resentful family begins to see his shortcomings and admits them to the others, he lays a basis for helpful discussion.  These family talks will be constructive if they can be carried on without heated argument, self-pity, self-justification or resentful criticism.  Little by little, mother and children will see they ask too much, and father will see he gives too little.  Giving, rather than getting, will become the guiding principle."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, pp. 127-128.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may follow God in His eternal quest for souls.  I pray that I may offer God my helping hand."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 28.  

Quote for the day:

"Don't tell people how to do things.  Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results."  __General George S. Patton

My share:

The surprise for me was realizing that all the joy and serenity I found residing in the hearts of AA's who welcomed me with open arms was freely given me through sharing.  If these people, with their horrendous drunkalogs, could find life rewarding without alcohol, so could I.  Surprise...I did. Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Meditation

Meditation, practiced in the form of simply talking to whatever

I thought might be there, was helping to change my life.

I could deal with life now

rather than running to a bottle and momentary oblivion.

I quit the debating society over whether God is or isn't.

I made my decision that God is.

. . . I could never have imagined that meditation

could be as simple as having a conversation.
- AA Grapevine, April 2009, p. 17

From the Big Book:

"Assume on the other hand that father has, at the outset, a stirring spiritual experience.   Overnight, as it were,  he is a different man.  He becomes a religious enthusiast.  He is unable to focus on anything else.  As soon as his sobriety sobriety begins to be taken as a matter of course, the family may look at their strange new dad with apprehension, then with irritation."

c. 1939, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward, p. 128.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may be in harmony with God and with other people. 

I pray that this harmony will result in strength and success."  

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 29.

Quote for the day:

"Prayer is when you talk to God, meditation is when you listen to God."  __Diana Robinson 

My share:

It didn't take me long to understand that meditation was not something I was born to.  It is a process I had to develop.  From those first days of feeling silly, talking to the wall, to today, has been an eye-opening journey.  Be Good To You, Dave

Circling the Globe

As we journeyed from land to land,

it was the same everywhere.

In Britain we were accepted as Britons; in Ireland,

we were one with the Irish.

Everywhere, everywhere it was the same.

. . . this was the forming of heart to heart in wonder, in joy,

and in everlasting gratitude.

Lois and I then knew that AA could circle the globe -- and it has!

- Bill W., October 1959

- The Language of the Heart, p. 295

From the Big Book:
"There is talk about spiritual matters morning, noon and night.  He may demand that the family find God in a hurry, or exhibit amazing indifference to them and say he is above worldly considerations.  He may tell mother, who has been religious all her life, that she doesn't know what it's all about, and that she had better get his brand of spirituality while there is yet time."
c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Family Afterward. p. 128.    

Prayer for the day:
 "I pray that I may follow in His eternal quest for souls. 
I pray that I may offer God my helping hand."
c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, April 29.  

Quote for the day:
"You are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience.  You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience. __ Teilhard de Chardin  French Geologist, Priest, Philosopher and Mystic, 1881-1955  

My Share:
I pass my share to a member from Serbia.    Be Good To You, Dave

 A MEMBER SHARES:
Hi family, my name is Predrag (nickname 'Kole'), and I am an alcoholic from Belgrade/Serbia/Europe.  Before I stopped drinking, my life was terrible, my family and me were on the edge of the blade to fall apart for the second time.  I was powerless, and decided to stop drinking to save my life and try to save my family.  It was successful in first three months, my family stay together but in "cold" relationships with me.  I was nervous and with temptations or wrong ambitions about alcohol and first drink.  I know that I need help and that I can't do anything alone.  I was against hospitals and doctors.  I read a short article in newspapers about AA and one Englishman who is trying to establish AA group on Serbian language in Belgrade.  English-speaking groups existed there from year 2000.  For himself, even that he is not drinking for last 20 years he said that he is an alcoholic in recovery.  In that very moment, I realized that I am an alcoholic too and that AA can be my future road to better life.  I decided to contact AA.  A fellow from Belgrade's Hope Group replied immediately and invited me to come to a meeting.  I was full of fear and confused but I decided to attend the meeting.  There I meet wonderful people, sober and happy with very similar stories like mine. They grant me a 24-hour coin and teach me about ONE DAY AT THE TIME wisdom.  Today I don't drink!  At the first glance I felt that AA is for me, that there is something what is perfect for ordinary human being and complex persons (like I am)... sounds familiar?  From that day started my NEW second life -- that only we in AA have by grace of Higher Power and with love and help of our AA friends.  Until now, I attend almost every meeting.  We have now in Belgrade 5 AA meetings and 1 Al-Anon a week.  And here I am now SOBER for more than two years, healthy, happy, full of love, and willing to help and understand any human being.  Together with my wonderful wife (Al-Anon member) who supports me strongly with love, and my children, who are proud of me and show me their love every day.  My dream is to become better person, to grow along spiritual lines, to become a "giving and not expecting back" person with love, energy and serenity for any human being.  Goals for future are to improve my family in best way I can and to spread AA idea and message over Belgrade and Serbia.  Before, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I DON'T KNOW, now I KNOW THAT I DON'T NOW or I KNOW ONLY A  LITTLE.   With best wishes and LOVE in fellowship, faithfully yours, Kole. Thank you for letting me share.