Thoughtfood for Sunday March 1, 2009

Life on Life's Terms

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful,

and ask for the right thought or action.

We constantly remind ourselves we

are no longer running the show,

humbly saying to ourselves many times each day...

"Thy will be done."
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition], p. 100

From the Big Book:

"He probably has several alcoholics among his own acquaintances.  You might suggest that you both take an interest in them.   Drinkers like to help other drinkers.  Your husband may be willing to talk to one of them."

c. 1939, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 112.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that God's spirit may be everything to my soul.   I pray that God's spirit may grow within me."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 1.

Quote for the day:

"It is high time that the ideal of success should be replaced by the ideal of service."  __Albert Einstein

My share:

Sometimes, in spite of all our preparation, all our planning, all our rehearsal, we find our minds go blank, not really knowing what the next right thing to do is. But if we trust that higher power, that inner voice to provide the guidance to take another step forward, never backward,  we build on our experience to enhance our now.   Be Good To You, Dave 

Thoughtfood for Monday, March 2, 2009

Slogans

As I was sitting at a meeting the other evening,

a lady was speaking

and she mentioned the three slogans:

"Live and Let Live," " Easy Does It," and "First Things First,"

and that she was having trouble with "Easy Does It."

As she mentioned these slogans,

I looked up at the wall where they were displayed.

All I could see because of a lady's head in front of me

was the last word in each slogan. . . "Live. . . It. . . First."

Live and Let Live -- Easy Does It -- First Things First.

The thought came to me then that the secret of getting or living

these three slogans is to live the Twelve Steps first.
Reprinted from Box 1980: The AA Grapevine, August, 1953, Vol. 10 No. 3.

From the Big Book:

"If this kind of approach does not catch your husband's interest, it may be  best to drop the subject, but after a friendly talk your husband will usually revive the topic himself.   This may take patient waiting, but it will be worth it.  Meanwhile you might try to help the wife of another serious drinker.  If you act upon these principles, your husband may stop or moderate."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p.112.

Prayer for the day:

I pray that I may feel that God's power is mine.  I pray that I may be able to face anything through that power."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 2.

Quote for the day:

"Our major obligation is not to mistake slogans for solutions."

__Edward R  Murrow

My share:

Sometimes, remembering the slogans I see on the walls of our meeting places, is just enough reinforcement to help me avoid that first drink, to help me pause and take stock of my spiritual condition.  Personally, I'm grateful for the slogans. "Live It First" could be added to that list.  Be Good To You,

Thoughtfood for Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Unity

Since personal calamity holds us in bondage no more,
our most challenging concern
has become the future of Alcoholics Anonymous;
how to preserve among us A.A.s such a powerful unity
that neither weakness of persons nor the

strain and strife of these troubled times

can harm our common cause.
We know that Alcoholics Anonymous must continue to live.
Else, save few exceptions,

we and our brother alcoholics throughout the world
will surely resume the hopeless journey to oblivion.

- Bill W.

Reprinted from Box 1980: The AA Grapevine, April, 1946, Vol. 2 No. 11.

From the Big Book:

"Suppose, however, that your husband fits the description of number two. (lack of control) The same principles which apply to husband number one should be practiced.  But after his next binge, ask him if he would really like to get over drinking for good.  Do not ask that he do it for you or anyone else.  Just would he like to?

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 112.

Prayer for the day:"I pray that I may see signs of my growth in the new life.  I pray that I may always keep trying to grow."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 3.

Quote for the day:

"The unity of freedom has never relied on uniformity of opinion."  __John Fitzgerald Kennedy

My share:

I think the greatest indication of our unity through diversity is the ease with which a member of A. A. can find himself welcomed in meetings around the world, and in spite of any language barriers, understands the language of the heart.  Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Thursday, March 5, 2009

Readjustment

Life is God's good gift to me.  

I must cooperate with it to live it,

which means constant readjustment

and the throwing out of phony fancies

as to how I might manage it

by the thankful sharing of

all honest thinking with my fellows.

Living means growing which is

not without pain but which, I believe,

is what we are together for now. . .

Living needs practicing, which is what God

 is giving me the grace to do. 
Reprinted from Box 1980: The AA Grapevine, October 1958, Vol. 15 No. 5

From the Big Book:

"If he is enthusiastic your cooperation will mean a great deal.  If he is lukewarm or thinks he is not an alcoholic, we suggest you leave him alone.  Avoid urging him to follow our program.  The seed has been planted in his mind."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p, 113.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may have no fear. 

 I pray that I may cast all fear out of my life."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 5.

Quote for the day:

"It takes so little to make people happy.  Just a touch, if we know how to give it, just a word softly spoken, a slight readjustment of some bolt or pin or tearing in the delicate machinery of a soul."

__Frank Crane

My share:

How many times I've seen this principle in action.  A kind word, a gentle hug, a knowing look, a sympathetic and attentive

ear;  these little things so often make a big difference in the lives of those who come in contact with us. Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Friday, March 6, 2009

A New Attitude

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone -- even alcohol. 

For by this time sanity will have returned.

We will seldom be interested in liquor.

If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.

We react sanely and normally,

and we will find that this has happened automatically.

We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us

without any thought or effort on our part.

It just comes!  That is the miracle of it.
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [Second Edition], pp. 84-85

From the Big Book:

"He knows that thousands of men, much like himself, have recovered.  But don't remind him of this after he has been drinking, for he may be angry.  Sooner or later, you are likely to find him reading the book once more.  Wait until repeated stumbling convinces him he must act, for the more you hurry him the longer his recovery may be delayed."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p.113.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may work for God and with God.  I pray that I may be used to change human personalities through God's help."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 6.

Quote for the day:

"Ability is what you're capable of doing.  Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it."

__ Lou Holtz

My share:

With a morning matinee for junior high school kids and a regular show this evening, our work is cut out for us today.    For many in this mornings audience, this will be their first exposure to the craft of theatre.  I have no right to begrudge them the minor inconvenience I face at being required to report so early in the day. If I do, I deny them the benefit of the knowledge that their own capabilities and motivations, coupled with a proper attitude as displayed by my example, might change their lives.

Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Saturday, March 7, 2009

Experience, Strength and Hope

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women
who share their experience, strength and hope with each other
that they may solve their common problem
and help others to recover from alcoholism.
- AA Preamble

From the Big Book:

"If you have a number three (type) husband, you may be in luck.  Being certain he wants to stop, you can go to him with this volume as joyfully as though you had struck oil.  He may not share your enthusiasm, but he is practically sure to read the book and he may go for the program at once."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 113.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may really try to do God's will in all my affairs.  I pray that I may do all I can to help others find God's will for them." 

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 7.

Quote for the day:

"Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes."

__Oscar Wilde

My share:

We are admonished to share our experience, strength, and hope with other alcoholics.  I would argue that Mr. Wilde hits the nail on the head.  The mistakes I made, the lapses of judgment, the criminal charges, the fines, the jail time, all of that, comprises the extent of the experience that is mine to share.  By doing so, there is strength in the chance, however slim, that someone might benefit from my sharing by avoiding the same mistakes.  It is that hope that keeps me involved in A.A.  Be Good To You ,Dave

Thoughtfood for Sunday, March 8, 2009

Humility 

They told me, "You've got to get out and work a little;

you've got to give."
They told me that giving was living, and that living was loving, and loving was God.

And you don't have to worry about God,
because He's sitting right in front of your eyes.
You get just a little sobriety, and you get just a little humility.

Not much, just a little. Not the humility of sackcloth and ashes,
but the humility of a man who's glad he's alive and can serve.
You get just a little tolerance, not too much,
but just enough to sit and listen to the other guy.
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [Second Edition], p. 507

From the Big Book:

"If he does not (share your enthusiasm), you will probably not have long to wait.  Again, you should not crowd him.  Let him decide for himself.  Cheerfully see him through more sprees.  Talk about his codition or this book only when he raises the issue.   In some cases it  may be better to let someone outside the family present this book.  They can urge action without arousing hostility.   If your husband is otherwise a normal individual, your chances are good at this stage."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 113.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may be helped and healed by true spiritual fellowship.  I pray that I may sense His presence in spiritual fellowship with His children."

c.1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 8.

Quote for the day:

"To bear defeat with dignity, to accept criticism with poise, to recieve honors with humility--these are marks of maturity and graciousness." __William Arthur Ward

My share:

Sometimes it is hard to be humble in the face of great success.

But it is only by knowing, understanding, and applying humility that the attributes of dignity and poise have any value. Be Good To You, Dave.

PS: The show Footloose presents its final performance today at 2 PM.  Last chance to see me in the role of Rev. Moore.  To those of you who came to see the show, thank you, I trust we entertained you for a couple of hours.  To those of you who will miss this part of my life, be of good cheer.  I have been cast in the next show at Pima CC, The Crucible by Arthur MIller.

We are already in rehearsal for that opening on April 8, 2009.

Adventure

If you're new, get in the car and come along for the ride.
If you want to stare at the floor it's okay.
Those first days and weeks are painful.  It hurts.  It's frightening.
It's lonely at times but you don't have to go through it twice.
And slowly but surely you'll be looking out the window too
and seeing the changes around you and in you,
and you'll be part of the most incredible adventure of your lifetime.
You'll come to believe that the destination we are traveling to isn't important, that the joy is in the journey. 

You won't have to go through it alone.
Reprinted from Box 1980: The AA Grapevine, January 1998, Vol. 54 No. 8

From the Big Book:

"You would suppose that men in the fourth classification would be quite hopeless, but that is not so.  Many of Alcoholics Anonymous were like that.  Everybody had given them up. Defeat seemed certain.  Yet often such men had spectacular and powerful recoveries."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p.113.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may be honest, pure, unselfish, and loving.  I pray that I may make the quality of my life good by these standards."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 9.

Quote for the day:

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."  __Joseph Campbell

My share:

Every day I say yes to adventure, bring it on!  Every day is a thrill and an adventure.  Few days are without some pain.  Most include some joy.  All are miracles. Be Good To You, Dave

H.A.L.T.

"Don't become too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired."
My use of "H-A-L-T" is possible only

because of the awareness-es I receive
through the use of the Twelve Steps.
They remain the hub on my wheel of sobriety.
I am trying very hard to use them better and better. . .
Although my main goal is staying sober and alive today,
I do recognize that my happiness with God, myself, and life
has been the result of a consistent application of the Steps.
To them, I can never call a halt.
Reprinted from Box 1980: The AA Grapevine, January 1982, Vol. 38 No. 9  

Thoughtfood for Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Staying Alive

It has often been said of AA that we

are interested only in alcoholism.

That is not true.

We have to get over drinking in order to stay alive.
Reprinted from As Bill Sees It, p. 1

From the Big Book:

"For years we have been working with alcoholics committed to institutions.  Since this book was first published, A. A. has released thousands of alcoholics from asylums and hospitals of every kind.  The majority have never returned.  The power of God goes deep!"

c. 1939 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives. p 114.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may look at great souls until their beauty of character becomes a part of my soul.  I pray that I may reflect this character in my own life."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 11.

Quote for the day:

"Only the fittest of the fittest shall survive, stay alive."

__ Bob Marley

My share:

When I was drinking, staying alive was a daily challenge. It still is, but the choices I am able to make today to facilitate staying alive make the process a tad bit easier.  I am confident that more will be revealed to me.  Be Good To You, Dave

(In my life)   I got a letter from the College of Fine Arts regarding my recent audition.  I made the first cut and am still in consideration.  Current Freshman must now audition on May 6.  Offers to transfer students to join the company will be made by mid-May. 

Thoughtfood for Thursday, March 12, 2009

 AA Thought for the Day

It is with deep regret we must inform you

we are no longer permitted to
share Alcoholics Anonymous World Services (AAWS)

copyrighted material with you. 
We will continue to send recovery-related messages,
but will no longer quote from AA sources. 
Thank you for your understanding, patience, and tolerance

My share:

Since I began compiling and sharing this daily email, I have relied on a source for the day's opening passage which usually determined the theme of the day's message.  I have received the preceeding information from that source.  I'm not sure how that will impact what I have been doing.  Since it was not my only source and until some official document dissallows me the privledge of sharing experience, strength, and hope, I will continue this daily Thoughtfood. 

Be Good To You, Dave 

From the Big Book: 

"You may have the reverse situation on your hands.  Perhaps you have a husband who is at large, but who should be committed.  Some men cannot or will not get over alcoholism.  When they become too dangerous, we think the kind thing is to lock them up, but of course a good doctor should always be consulted.  The wives and children of such men suffer horribly, but not more than the men themselves."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p.114.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may love the simple things of life.  I pray that I may keep my life uncomplicated and free." 

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 12.

Quote for the day:

"Faith means living with uncertainty--feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark." 

 __Dan Millman

Thoughtfood for Friday, March 13, 2009

From the Big Book:

"If your husband is a drinker, you probably worry over what other people are thinking and you hate to meet your friends.  You draw more and more into yourself and you think everyone is talking about conditions in your home.  You avoid the subject of drinking even with your own parents.  You do not know what to tell the children.  When your husband is bad, you become a trembling recluse, wishing the telephone had never been invented."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, pp. 114-115.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may become a channel for God's spirit.   I pray that God's spirit may flow through me into the lives of others."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 13.

Quote for the day:

"Happiness is not so much in having or sharing.  We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

__Norman MacEwan

My share:

I yield the floor to Candy.  Be Good To You, Dave

A MEMBER SHARES:
Hi All!  I'm Candy, a grateful recovering alcoholic.  I don't take the word "grateful" lightly.  In essence, what I've seen, and what I've read in As Bill Sees It, page 298, is exactly what we're talking about here.  Gratitude makes me think of when I first got sober.  I was a DWI (Drunk Without Insurance), so I couldn't go to treatment.  My treatment center was an AA clubhouse in downtown Nashville.  A lady there managed the coffee counter.  Mrs. Faye was an ex-junkie and a former owner of a brothel back in the 60's.  She had bleached blond hair piled up on her head, and was a "buxom" woman, a kind of a modern day May West type.  You get the picture.  I was 21, and I'd show up at around 7:30 AM just as she was opening the doors and had the first pot of coffee brewed.  I'd come in with the "DRAMA OF THE DAY" and proceed to spill my heart to Mrs. Faye. She'd pull up a stool, hand me a cup of coffee, look at me very compassionately and nod with her wise eyes and gentle face.  Then when I finished my story, she'd go back to the stock room, get the furniture polish and a dust rag, and have me polish the furniture in the clubhouse.  I didn't understand what she was doing.  But by gosh! That furniture sure shined when I was sobering up, and I felt a healthy sense of pride.  This clubhouse, all its meetings, and all the crusty old codgers who hung out there, saved my life.  In 1996, they needed a new coffee counter manager, and I was offered the position.  I'd get there at seven, put on the coffee, start my day, and inevitably, a newcomer would walk in with the "DRAMA OF THE DAY."  I'd hand 'em a cup of coffee, pull up a stool, and you know the rest of the story.  Mrs. Faye passed away, and I was grateful to be able to carry on her "legacy" . to pass on what she gave to me even with only days sober.  I could still polish the heck out of that furniture.  So I'll end by saying, if you're miserable, do something different.  Nothing insures immunity from drinking as working with another alcoholic.  Thanks!

Thoughtfood for Saturday, March 14, 2009

AA Thought for the Day

Resentments

We need to take resentments very seriously.
More than anything else,
they can lead to relapse
and all forms of spiritual illness.
To live a happy, productive and sober life,
we must free ourselves of our resentments.

From the Big Book:

"We find that most of this embarrassment is unnecessary.  While you need not discuss your husband at length, you can quietly let your friends know the nature of his illness.  But you must be on guard not to embarrass or harm your husband."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p.115.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may persevere in doing what seems right.  I pray that I may carry out all of God's leading, as far as I can understand it."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day. March 14.

Quote for the day:

"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."  __Malachy McCourt

My share: 

I vowed to avoid resentment of any kind once I discovered the power resentments held over my ability to think cleary; how resentments would bar me from giving and recieving the love that living life on life's terms has to offer. Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Sunday, March 15, 2009

Toolkit  
A.A. has many tools to initiate change, growth, survival
as well as to just stay sober. There are the 12 Steps which will
produce a spiritual awakening and, when practiced on a daily basis, a lifetime of sobriety. There are the slogans which help us cope with our daily difficulties, both large and small. There's the Serenity Prayer which can be focused
on any problem or situation that we face. and, of course, meetings, sponsors, the Big Book, the 12 & 12, our expanding relationship with God and the Fellowship.

From the Big Book:

"When you have carefully explained to such people that he is a sick person, you will have created a new atmosphere.  Barriers which have sprung up between you and your friends will disappear with the growth of sympathetic understanding.  You will no longer be self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as though your husband were a weak character.  He may be anything but that.  Your new courage, good nature and lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p.115.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that selfishness may not hinder my progress in spiritual matters.  I pray that I may be a good instrument for God to work with."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 15.

Quote for the day:

"Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness."

__Martin Luther King, Jr.

My share: Busy today memorizing lines for the next play.  Will pass my share to Barry, Be Good To You, Dave

A Member Shares:

My name is Barry and I am an alcoholic.  Earlier today, a friend asked, "How do you stay sober when you are thinking of drinking?"   I said we need to use the tools.  When we first come to AA, we are given a huge bag of tools.  It is up to us to use them.  The first tool I found is meetings.  Meetings saved my butt many times.  I was told to go to 90 meetings in 90 days.  I went to over 200 meetings my first 90 days, and at least 10 meetings a week for my first year.  That helped me to build a foundation of what to do when I thought about drinking.  And for me, that was often.  During my first four years in sobriety, I thought about drinking every day.  What I did not do was drink one day at a time.  All those slogans are great tools.  My favorite is "Don't Drink and go to meetings."  That is what Bill W told my sponsor Tommy when he was new, and it still works today.  Then we have all of these great books and pamphlets put out by AA World Services.  The Big Book is great, and there are many other books, which I personally love.  Sponsors are a wonderful tool!  I was told to get a sponsor in my first week, and went through many of them over the years.  And I still have one for over 29 years who is still working with me.  What a great program!  There are tapes and magazines published by the Grapevine.  We have so many tools that AA has given us, that there are no reasons for us to pick up.  Oh, there are many excuses but not one good reason.  If we want it bad enough we will stay sober no matter what.  We have this huge toolbox to use.  I have only mentioned a few.  Thank you for letting me share

Thoughtfood for Monday, March 16, 2009

Growing Pains

Don't blow this chance to grow.
God will give you a clean slate

from which to begin each day.
You will have many opportunities
and what you do with each one
will determine your own growth.

From the Big Book:

"The same principle applies in dealing with children.  Unless they actually need protection from their father, it is best not to take siedes in any argument he has with them while drinking.  Use your energies to promote a better understanding all around.  Then that terrible tension which grips the home of every problem drinker will be lessened."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p.115.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may not become destracted by material affairs. 

I pray that I may concentrate on doing what I can do best."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 16.

Quote for the day:

"If we don't change, we don't grow.  If we don't grow, we are not really living." 
__Gail Sheehy

My share:

It is not easy, this growing business.  But it is necessary.  Until I had been sober for awhile, I didn't know that I had stopped growing emotionally and spiritually the day I began drinking alcoholically. Those are processes my behaviors can affect. The other one, growing old, is inevitable.  But I have come to realize that one's attitude often affects one's appearance.  Alcohol is hard on the liver, both the internal organ and on the one that lives.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Tuesday, March 17, 2009

                                            Assurance     

"The phrase, "God as we understand Him", is perhaps the most important expression to be found in our whole AA vocabulary.  Within the compass of these five significant words there can be included every kind and degree of faith, together with the positive assurance that each of us may choose his own."

c.1988, The Grapevine, Inc., Language of the Heart, p.251.

From the Big Book:

"Frequently, you have felt obliged to tell your husband's employer and his friends that he was sick, when as a matter of fact he was tight. (drunk)  Avoid answering these inquiries as much as you can.  Whenever possible, let your husband explain.  Your desire to protect him should not cause you to lie to people when they have a right to know where he is and what he is doing.  Discuss this with him when he is sober and in good spirits.  Ask him what you should do if he places you in such a position again.  But be careful not to be resentful about the last time he did so."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, pp. 115-116.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may wear the world like a loose garment. 

 I pray that I may keep serene at the center of my being." 

c. 1075, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 17.

Quote for the day:

"People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives."

                                                          __ J. Michael Straczynski

My share:

Happy St. Patrick's Day!  That greeting used to mean buckets of green bear and a major debauch.  I still identify with the Irish within me on this day of recognition but the celebration does not require the consumption of alcohol.  Bring on the corned beef and cabbage!  Be Good To You, Dave. 

Thoughtfood for Wednesday, March 18, 2009

No Rules. . . Just Right

Aren't you glad that AA has no big
rules or regulations to get and stay sober?
Thank your HP for that.
The earlier groups discovered that we in AA
could best help if we shared our collective
experience, strength and hope with the newcomer
and allow that person to decide if they are one of us.

From the Big Book:

"There is another paralyzing fear.  You may be afraid your husband will lose his position; you are thinking of the disgrace and hard times which will befall you and the children.  This experience may come to you. Or you may already have had it several times.  Should it happen again, regard it in a different light.  Maybe it will prove a blessing!  It  may convince your husband he wants to stop drinking forever.  And now you know that he can stop if  he will!   Time after time, this apparent calamity has been a boon to us, for it opened up a path which led to the discovery of God."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 116.

Prayer for the day:

I pray that I may persistently carry out my spiritual exercises every day.  I pray that I may strive for peace and serenity."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 18.

Quote for the day:

"Three Rules of Work:  Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony: In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

__ Albert Einstein

My share:
It is a good thing that AA groups do not post a list of rules to which one must adhere to be a member of the group, most of us would not stay sober if there were.  The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. But the lack of rules for membership does not decrease the importance of societal rules of conduct; rules we can accept once the mind clears of it's alcoholic fog.  Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Thursday, March 19, 2009

 Trust 

I trusted no one.

I was very sure I could control my drinking by myself.

I was convinced my intelligence would be enough.

I looked in the mirror and discovered

 where my self-will had taken me.

I surrendered.

I began to trust AA, my Higher Power,

and our blessed Fellowship.

From the Big Book:

"We have elsewhere remarked how much better life is when lived on a spiritual plane.  If God can solve the age-old riddle of alcoholism, He can solve your problems too.   We wives found that, like everybody else, we were afflicted with pride, self-pity, vanity and all the things which go to make up the self-centered person; and we were not above selfishness or dishonesty. As our husbands began to apply spiritual principles in their lives, we began to see the desirability of doing it too."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 116.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may always feel God's presence.  I pray that I may realize this presence all through the day"

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 19.

Quote for the day:

"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot thust, neither can we find love or joy."

__Walter Anderson

My share:  Pass.  Be Good To You, Dave

A Member Shares:

I'm Terrier T, alcoholic.  "Trust". this word used to look to me like a vampire on a dark night.  I would run blindly away from it when I first came into the program.  I had a desire to stop hurting, but it took time to understand that drinking was connected to the pain.  I resisted, argued.  When I heard the word 'trust,' I thought everyone was nuts.  The opposite of trust, however, was pain.  I was hurting myself by my own will, which was akin to being slammed into a brick wall over and over.  But that was all I knew then.  To trust, I had to let go, and my stubborn will kept my white knuckles clinging to my own willful insanity.  It took time for me to learn to trust.  It started with my setting a simple to-do list:  Wake up.  Get my butt to a meeting.  That was all I could handle for a while.  I can remember the first time I trusted.  It felt like I had jumped out of a perfectly functioning airplane to drop like a stone.  Terror!  But little by little, I began to trust.  Easy one first ... the meeting would be there.  Then I began to trust my group.  It took time, but I began to trust myself a teeny bit.  As I trusted, I found that I did not get slammed into that wall, and that what I got back was a feeling of "Wow! This may be possible for me!"  I opened myself to my Higher Power, asking for help.  Well, first, I asked for things . had to try that.  But I learned that the most important thing for me is to ask to be allowed to see what is meant for me today.  That was my mantra.  With the Serenity Prayer, I progressed to, "I cannot do this alone.  I need help."  When I asked, it came, much to my surprise.  And I am thankful it did.  That trust is daily to maintain my spirit, contact with my guide, my Higher Power, and to being open to what is meant for me so I can see it.  I had a real lesson in trust last night when I had a health emergency.  If my partner had not been here with me, I would not be here today.  So I trust myself to ask to see what is meant for me and then take the action on it so that I can be here with sober people and share with all of you.

Denial

It's often said, "Denial is a symptom
of the disease of alcoholism."
Of course, it's one thing to deny being an alcoholic
when one has never had a drink.
It's an entirely different story when one denies it
while wondering what he did during a blackout,
(or where his rent money went, how he got that black eye,
or who dented his car),
or why coffee makes him nervous in the morning,
even before he has his first cup.
This is where the alcoholic needs to be honest
and admit to what alcohol is doing to him.

Thoughtfood for Monday, March 23, 2009

Experience, Strength and Hope

The people in the rooms understood exactly how I was,

and accepted me anyway, defects and all.

They are teaching me how to relate

 to reality without the bottle.

My first drink was deadly,

especially at the end of it.

I am just grateful that there really was a way out

when I was finally ready - to open the door and let the Steps in.

From the Big Book:

"The faith and sincerity of both you and your husband will be put to the test.  These work-outs should be regarded as part of your education, for thus you will be learning to live.  You will make mistakes, but if you are in earnest they will not drag you down.  Instead, you will capitalize them.  A better way of life will emerge when they are overcome."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 117.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that with strength from God I may lead an abundant life. 

 I pray that I may lead a life of victory."

c.1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 23.

Quote for the day:

Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself."  __Mahatma Gandhi

My share:

Classes resume today.  In addition to three continuing courses, I begin two new ones.  A total of fifteen credits and evenings filled with rehearsals or performances, promises to keep me very busy for the next month or two. Keeping me busy helps keep me out of that danger zone called my mind.  Be Good To You, Dave

A MEMBER SHARES:
I'm Mike, an alcoholic.  I have been to quite a few meetings and I really love to hear "Experience, Strength and Hope."  People have something unique and different to offer about their past and their road to recovery.  Yet I hear a common thread, no matter who tells the story, what they drank, or where they did it.  Although we come from so many different backgrounds, we can always find the similarities if we take the time to look for them.  At one of the first speaker meetings I attended, the speaker's story was so like mine, I thought I had been set up.  I know that sounds self-centered, but I was new.  When I hear people share about feelings I thought only I have, it is a feeling of freedom.  You folks remind me that I am not alone.  When you all laugh at your problems and your past, you teach me to laugh too.  When you folks share about healing and hope, you give me hope.  How many of you can remember that first time that you got that feeling, "Hey!  This just may work for me?"  I remember that moment very well, and it was a life-changing moment.  I've seen it happen here when a newcomer comes in and gets it, a moment of hope, or clarity.  I listen to what others say, and how they solved their problems.  I learn from all of you; I must always remain teachable.  Listening to others open up, I find I'm more willing to open up myself.  It does not matter how much time you have sober.  Every one of us can help a newcomer.  It is up to us to plant the seed, and we do a good job of that right here in this room.  When I first got sober, I wanted to save the world, and get everyone sober.  Thank God, I have calmed down a bit, but I still believe that my primary purpose is to carry the message of recovery and hope to the alcoholic who still suffers.  I feel blessed to be here tonight with all of you who share my feelings and encourage my growth.  None of us has all the answers.  Each one of us knows a little, so together when we share we can cover a lot of ground.  Sharing our ESH is how we help others.  I think that is what it's all about.  Thank you for letting me share.

Thoughtfood for Tuesday, March  24, 2009

Uncover, Recover, Discover

I must look squarely at the unhappiness

 I have caused myself and others.

By uncovering my emotional deformities,

Step Four led me to discover

that spiritual principles would solve my problems.

From the Big Book:

"Some of the snags you will encounter are irritation, hurt feelings and resentments.  Your husband will sometimes be unreasonable and you will want to criticize.  Starting from a speck on the domestic horizon, great thunderclouds of dispute may gather.  These family dissensions are very dangerous, especially to your husband.  Often you must carry the burden of avoiding them or keeping them under control.  Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic.  We do not mean that you have to agree with your husband whenever there is an honest difference of opinion.  Just be careful not to disagree in a resentful or critical spirit."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 117.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that my faith may be based on my own experience of the power of God in my life.  I pray that I may know this one thing above all else in the universe."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day. March 24.

Quote for the day:

"Don't seek God in temples.  He is close to you.  He is within you.  Only you should surrender to Him and you will rise above happiness and unhappiness."  __Leo Nikolaecich Tolstoy

My share:

I accept that the Higher Power I seek resides within me as surely as I believe that there is a God. I am convinced that my Higher Power is part of the larger God.  I  believe we are all pinpoints of God-consciousness.  Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Keys to Sobriety

The Twelve Steps as a way of life,

daily prayer, and continuing work with new people

are the keys to sobriety.

I have observed over the years

that a lot of people can come in and stay sober for a year or two,

and then they go away.

Those of us who can make the transition from takers to givers

tend to stay sober and stay around meetings

so our sobriety is a happy sobriety.

From the Big Book:

"You and your husband will find that you can dispose of serious problems easier than you can the trivial ones.  Next time you and he have a heated discussion, no matter what the subject, it should be the privilege of either to smile and say, 'This is getting serious.  I'm sorry I got disturbed.  Let's talk about it later.'  If your husband is trying to live on a spiritual basis, he will also be doing

everything in his power to avoid disagreement or contention."

c.  1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 118.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may persist day by day in gaining spiritual experience.  I pray that I may make this a lifetime work."

c. 1975, Hazleden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 25.

Quote for the day:

"Continuous effort--not strength or intelligence--is the key to unlocking our potential."  __Winston Churchill

My share:

I seek a spiritual life.  I believe all I need will be provided.  My life depends on it.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Thursday, March 26, 2009

Freedom

The Big Book promises that I am going to know a new freedom and a new happiness, 
    that I will not regret the past nor wish

to shut the door on it, 
    and that I will comprehend the word serenity

and will know peace.
- Anonymous

From the Big Book:

"Your husband knows he owes you more than sobriety.  He wants to make good.  Yet you must not expect too much.  His ways of thinking and doing are the habits of years.  Patience, tolerance, understanding and love are the watchwords.  Show him these things in yourself and they will be reflected back to you from him.  Live and let live is the rule.  If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 118.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may choose and decide to cross the bridge of faith.  I pray that by crossing this bridge I may receive the spiritual power I need."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 26.

Quote for the day:

"Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm."  __Anonymous"

My share: I pass today so I can get back to my math homework.  Be Good To You, Dave.

A MEMBER SHARES:
I'm Peach, an alcoholic, grateful to be here and grateful to be sober.  Freedom!  What a concept!  We hear a lot in the rooms about being happy, joyous and free through working the Steps and living this program, but I don't often hear "Freedom" as a meeting topic, so thought it might be a nice change.  Although I had 'rights,' I didn't have what I considered 'freedom' when I got here.  I mean mental, emotional freedom.  I was held captive by numerous things, my drinking, for one.  However, that was only a symptom of bigger problems.  My thoughts, ideas, ideals, attitudes, emotions, all held me captive.  I love the story in the back of the Big Book, "Freedom from Bondage" (p. 544).  Like the entire book, I found a lot of truth in it.  I had been holding on to all the negative stuff in life which kept me in a negative state of mind, a negative position, a negative attitude towards anyone and everything, with no freedom to enjoy anything at all.  I was too busy being mean, sad, angry, and resentful.  Love and hate can't reside in the same place at the same time; one will outweigh the other.  Through living this program, and practicing these principles in all areas of my life, I have a real freedom now.  I have freedom to choose.  I can choose to be angry if I really want to, but that's not a real good place for me to be.  Today, I have the choice.  Before, I didn't.  Before, I was stuck in my old patterns, old habits, and old ways of thinking about everything.  I couldn't get out of that on my own; no matter how hard I tried, it just wouldn't work.  Today, I have a choice in the matter -- a choice in my attitudes, my views, and how I respond to challenges.  That choice gives me the opportunity to embrace a real freedom.  Freedom to have peace of mind and serenity.  I'm thankful to Alcoholics Anonymous for saving my life, and giving me one worth living, for showing me how to find freedom, for teaching me that I do have choices, and for deepening my understanding of my own personal Higher Power.  Thank you for letting me share.

Thoughtfood for Friday, March 27, 2009

Tolerance

When I am honest with myself and others I will get sober,
but it is tolerance that keeps me that way.
When I fully realize that I can't get well alone,
I will somehow find a way to get well and stay well

in the company of others.
It has been that way from the beginning of AA
and probably always will be so

From the Big Book:

"We women carry with us a picture of the ideal man, the sort of chap we would like our husbands to be.  It is the most natural thing in the world, once his liquor problem is solved, to feel that he will now measure up to that cherished vision.  The chances are he will not for, like yourself, he is just beginning his development."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 118.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may open myself to the power of God's spirit.  I pray that my relationships with others may be improved by this spirit."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 27. 

Quote for the day:

"In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher."

__Dalai Lama

My share:

Surely tolerance has grown within me since I began working the steps. It is an attribute that naturally became enhanced by my ultimate understanding that resentments nourish intolerance.  Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Saturday, March 28, 2009

Hope

Hope is the true gift of the program.

I have hope that things will get better in my life

as long as I stay sober.

I have hope that I can get through any difficulty sober,

with the hope that you people give to me.

From the Big Book:

"Another feeling we are very likely to entertain is one of resentment that love and loyalty could not cure our husbands of alcoholism.  We do not like the thought that the contents of a book or the work of another alcoholic has accomplished in a few weeks that for which we struggled for years.  At such moments we forget that alcoholism is an illness over which we could not possibly have had any power."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 118.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may have more faith and obedience.  I pray that I may live a more abundant life as a result of these things."

c. 1939, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 28.

Quote for the day:

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.  The important thing is not to stop questioning."  __Albert Einstein

My share:

These days, the amount of hope I hold is directly proportionate to the level of my faith.  If I look too far down the road, my mind kicks in to over analyze and project the most negative of outcomes by assuming the worst and by setting my wants above my needs. Staying in the moment requires faith that all I need will be provided.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for  Sunday, March 29, 2009

Insanity

I had no idea how truly insane my drinking behavior was,
and could not bear to face it when it was suggested
that I was in fact mentally ill.
However, I could not deny it when I realized
that my destructive alcoholic behavior was positive proof,
that I could not claim soundness of mind for myself.

From the Big Book:

"Your husband will be the first to say it was your devotion and care which brought him to the point where he could have a spiritual experience.  Without you he would have gone to pieces long ago.  When resentful thoughts come, try to pause and count your blessings.   After all, your family is reunited, alcohol is no longer a problem and you and your husband are working together toward an undreamed-of future."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, pp.118-119.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may live my inner life with God. I pray that nothing shall invade or destroy that secret place of peace."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 29.

Quote for the day:

"To the sober person adventurous conduct seems insanity."

__Aristotle

My share:

I remember, when faced with the notion that God would return me to sanity, I balked.  I insisted that I had aways been insane, that I couldn't return to something I had never had.  In the process of doing the fourth step, I discovered that by recalling that time before I started drinking gave me a glimpse of life that was not insane. Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Monday, March 30, 2009

If I examine every disturbance I have, great or small,
I will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency
and its consequent unhealthy demand.
With God's help, I will continually surrender these hobbling liabilities.
Then I can be set free to live and love;
I may then be able to help myself,
as well as twelve-step others, into emotional sobriety.

 From the Big Book: "Still another difficulty is you may become jealous of the attention he bestows on other people, especially alcoholics.  You have been starving for his companionship, yet he spends long hours helping other men and their families.  You feel he should now be yours. The fact is that he should work with other people to maintain his own sobriety.  Sometimes he will be so interested that he becomes really neglectful."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 119.  

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may not be upset by the judgment of others.  I pray that I may let God be the judge of the real me."

c. 1939, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 30.

Quote for the day:

"Depend upon yourself.  Make your judgment trustworthy by trusting it.  You can develop good judgment as you do the muscles of your body...by judicious, daily exercise."

__Grantland Rice

My share:

The prayer today reminded me of what happened yesterday at a meeting.  I felt awkward and uncomfortable because a person who had judged me as less than deserving of his friendship was in the room. He had summarily dismissed me as a friend telling me I should "take another look at my behaviors, and don't even bother to respond."   I was hurt at the time and thought I had let it go.  But his presence yesterday brought all the hurt to the surface again. I am not handling his judgment of me well.  My only salvation in this is to think: who is he to judge me? He is not without sin and should not be casting stones.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Truth

I began with little faith, but found proof

that the truth is that it works.

I started to believe others after hearing how

they suffered from their alcoholism,

because I could see them enjoying sobriety through AA.

That truth was there for me to see.

Soon I knew the same truth from my own experiences.

I was released from the compulsion to drink

and guided into a compulsion to live life!

From the Big Book:

"Your house is filled with strangers.  You may not like some of them.  He gets stirred up about their troubles, but not at all about yours.  It will do little good if you point that out and urge more attention for yourself.  We find it a real mistake to dampen his enthusiasm for alcoholic work.  You should join in his efforts as much  as you possible can.  We suggest that you direct some of your thought to the wives of his new alcoholic friends.  They need the counsel and love of a woman who has gone through what you have."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 119

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may persevere in all good things.  I pray that I may advance each day in spite of my stumbling feet."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, March 31.

Quote for the day:

"The truth is not for all men, but only for those who seek it."

__Ayn Rand

My share:

I heard the "ring of truth" many times while reading the Big Book that first time.  I heard the "ring of truth" many times as members shared in meetings.  I see the truth of the A.A. message almost daily in the actions of recovered alcoholics and I strive to emulate them.

Be Good To You, Dave