Thoughtfood for Sunday, February 1, 2009

 

 

From the Big Book:

"Among us are wives, relatives and friends whose problem has been solved, as well as some who have not yet found a happy solution.  We want the wives of Alcoholics Anonymous members to address the wives of men who drink too much.  What they say will apply to nearly everyone bound by ties of blood or affection to an alcoholic."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 104.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that my life may not be spoiled by worry and fear and selfishness.  I pray that I may have a glad, thankful, and humble heart."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb 1.

Quote for the day:

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

__Jalal ad-Din Rumi

My share:

If one finds no barriers erected by old-timers in A.A. it is because they heeded the sort of advice that suggests they first seek and destroy the barriers they find in themselves.  When those personal barriers to embracing and sharing love are gone, service to others becomes a treasure and a most humbling experience. Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Monday, February 2, 2009

Adventure

Following this spiritual path made a major difference in my life.

It seemed to fill that lonely hole that I used to fill with alcohol.

My self-esteem improved dramatically,

and I knew happiness and serenity as I had never known before.

I started to see the beauty and usefulness in my own existence,

and tried to express my gratitude through helping others

in whatever ways I could.

A confidence and faith entered my life

and unraveled a plan for me

that  was bigger and better than I could ever imagined. . .

I have hope to share and love to give,

and I just keep going one day at a time,

living this adventure called life.

©2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous,  pp. 287-288

 

From the Big Book: 

"As wives of Alcoholics Anonymous, we would like you to feel that we understand as perhaps few can.  We want to analyze mistakes we have made.  We want to leave you with the feeling that no situation is too difficult and no unhappiness too great to be overcome." 

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 104.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may do all I can to love others, in spite of their many faults.  I pray that as I love, so will I be loved."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 2.

Quote for the day: 

"The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams."   __Oprah Winfrey

My share: 

I couldn't agree more. I reached my bottom just shy of planning my own demise.  A.A. saved my life, restored my self esteem and encouraged me to follow my dreams.  Thanks for being a part of that recovery.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Beacon

 

Day by day, we try to move a little toward God's perfection.

So we need not be consumed by maudlin guilt

for failure to achieve His likeness and image by Thursday next.

Progress is our aim,

and His perfection is the beacon, light-years away, that draws us on.

©1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It,  p. 15

From the Big Book:

"We have traveled a rocky road, there is no mistake about that.  We have had long rendezvous with hurt pride, frustration, self-pity, misunderstanding and fear.  These are not pleasant companions.  We have been driven to maudlin sympathy, to bitter resentment.  Some of us veered from extreme to extreme, ever hoping that one day our loved ones would be themselves once more."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, pp. 104-105.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may try to strengthen my faith day by day.  I pray that I may rely more and more on God's power."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 3.

Quote for the day:

"Alcohol is perfectly consistent in its effects upon man.  Drunkenness is merely an exaggeration.  A foolish man drunk becomes maudlin; a bloody man, vicious; a course man, vulgar." __Willa Sibert Cather

My share:

Webster defines maudlin as; "...overly or tearfully sentimental, especially because affected by alcohol."
How many times in a drunken stupor did I tearfully insist, "I'm sorry!", knowing full-well that I didn't mean it, nor did I intend to change anything to improve my behavior. Boy, have things changed or what?  Be Good To You, Dave

 

Thoughtfood for Wednesday, February 4, 2009

 

Pride

 

We temporarily cease to grow because we feel satisfied

that there is no need for all of AA's Twelve Steps for us.

We are doing fine on only two of them,

the First Step and that part of the Twelfth where we "carry the message.

In AA slang, that blissful state is known as "two-stepping."

And it can go on for years.

Reprinted from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,

 

 

From the Big Book:

"Our loyalty and the desire that our husbands hold up theri heads and be like other men have begotten all sorts of predicaments.  We have told innumerable lies to protect our pride and our husband's reputations.  We have prayed, we have begged, we have been patient.  We have struck out viciously.  We have run away.  We have been hysterical.  We have been terror stricken. We have sought sympathy.  We have had retaliatory love affairs with other men."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 105.

 

Prayer for the day:

I pray that I may have more and more dependence on God.  I pray that I may throw away my alcoholic crutch and let God's power take its place."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 4.

 

Quote for the day:

"It was pride that changed angels into devils;

it is humility that makes men as angels."

__Saint Augustine

 

My share: 
Pride is not all bad.  There are many definitions of that word.  Pride of superiority, a sense that one is better than others, is a character defect I asked HP to remove.  Webster's second definition of pride suggests a level of pride that is esential to self esteem, a proper sense of one's own value, the correct level of respect for the importance and value of your personal character, minus the defects. Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Thursday, February 5, 2009

"Easy Does It"

We must learn to walk before we can run. 

That's why we have these slogans.

I use that "Easy Does It" every day to slow me down a little.

I have to watch myself all the time.

So I don't just take the inventory at night --

I take it continually throughout the day.

I stop and check it over first,

and then let my conscience be my guide.

For me, AA has become a way of life.

©2003 AAWS, Experience, Strength and Hope,  p. 410

 

From the Big Book:

"Our homes have been battle-grounds many an evening.  In the morning we have kissed and made up.  Our friends have counseled chucking the men and we have done so with finality, only to be back in a little while hoping, always hoping.  Our men have sworn great solemn oaths that they were through drinking forever.  We have believed them when no one else could or would.  Then, in days, weeks, or months, a fresh outburst."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 105.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may regularly go to school in things of the spirit.  I pray that I may grow spiritually, by making a practice of these things."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 5

Quote for the day:  

"Our major obligation is not to mistake slogans for solutions." 

__Edward R. Murrow

My share:

My first ninety day found me in a lot of different meetings in a wide variety of places.  Some of the locations were decorated with all the placards and slogans of A.A.  There was the placard with the steps; the one with the traditions; and all the slogans.

At first I thought, "How trite, then how quaint, then, finally, how

wise."  They turned out to be helpful sound bites I could carry in my mind to ease the pain and frustration of those early times.  They continue to guide me in times of agitation or despair. Be Good To You, Dave

Otherwise, I'm not living, just existing.

God didn't give me this gift of sobriety to sit in a rocking chair,

imagining myself as some wise

old woman who has arrived somewhere.

There is no easier, softer way.

To bring the great escape act into sobriety

is to travel with a companion that led me to despair long ago.

The teaching I receive in AA about courage and love

helps me to grapple with the challenges of life

as they are given to me one day at a time.
©1998 The AA Grapevine, Inc., The Best of the Grapevine [Vol. 3],  p. 320

From the Big Book:

"We seldom had friends at our homes, never knowing how or when the men of the house would appear.  We could make few social engagements.  We came to live almost alone.  When we were invited out, our husbands sneaked so many drinks that the spoiled the occasion.  If, on the other hand, they took nothing, their self-pity made them kill-joys."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 105.  

 

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may have a listening ear,

so that God may speak to me. 

I pray that I may have a waiting heart,

so that God may come to me."  

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation,Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 6.

 

Quote for the day:

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you,

they're supposed to help you discover who you are."

__Bernice Johnson Reagon

 

My share:

I am happy to report that the challenges continue to materialize along side the promises. If there were no challenges, no obstacles to serenity, the value of life itself would 

be diminished.   Be Good To You, Dave 

 

Thoughtfood for Saturday, February 7, 2009

 

Miracle

I was spiritually bankrupt long before AA entered my life

and long before alcoholism took over

like a parasite under my skin.

I had nothing, no faith at all to cling to.

I had no faith in man, because along with my drinking

 I had lost faith in myself.

I trusted no one, for others were but

a mere reflection of my own self,

and I could not trust me. 

I got sober in AA, and, like a miracle,

the warm flood of reality I had feared

for so long flowed over me,

and I was no longer afraid. . .

With the tools and guideposts of AA,

we can learn a little more of this precious gift

-- our gateway to human spirituality.

©1973 AAWS, Came To Believe . . .,  pp. 118-120

 

From the Big Book:

"There was never financial security.  Positions were always in jeopardy or gone.  An armored car could not have brought the pay envelopes home.  The checking account melted like snow in June."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, pp. 105-106.

 

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that the Divine power of God will help my human weakness.  I pray that my prayer may reach through the darkness to the ear of God."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 7.

 

Quote for the day:

"There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as though everything is a miracle."   __ Albert Einstein

 

My share:

Having experienced connectivity issues earlier today, I will make this brief.  You are a miracle. Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Sunday, February 8, 2009

 

Fellowship

To watch people recover, to see them help others, 

to watch loneliness vanish,

to see a fellowship grow up about you,

to have a host of friends --

this is an experience you must not to miss.

We know you will not want to miss it.

©2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous

 

From the Big Book:

"Sometimes there were other women.  How heartbreaking was this discovery; how cruel to be told they knew our men as we did not!  The bill collectors, the sheriffs, the angry taxi drivers, the policemen, the bums, the pals, and even the ladies they sometimes brought home--our husbands thought we were

inhospitable, 'Joykiller, nag, wet-blanket'--that's what they said.  Next day they would be themselves again and we would forgive and try to forget."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 106.

 

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may meet the test of waiting  for God's guidance. 

 I pray that I will not go off on my own."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours  A Day, Feb. 8.

 

Quote for the day:
"Remember and help America remember that the fellowship of human beings is more important than the fellowship of race and class and gender is a democratic society."  __Marian Wright Edelman

My share:

I'll let Kathy share today.  Be Good To You, Dave

 

A MEMBER SHARES:
Hi family.  I'm Kathy and I'm an alcoholic.  I'm so glad I am here and sober today.  Today, life happened to me, and I was able to let it.  A few years ago, I wasn't able to do that.  I wasn't much different from the rest of you before sobriety.  I was in that dark, lonely hell that this disease wants to keep us in.  I had lost everything.  No wealth, no health, no family, and my only friends were drunks like me who didn't know the word 'love.'  My Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, got me sober one night.  It was a miracle I didn't expect; one that I had lost hope in ever having.  Somehow, I did make it for two months before I gave up and drove to my first AA meeting.  I didn't know what to expect.  I was scared to death, but knew I couldn't go on just existing without alcohol.  I walked into a room of about 25 folks.  I whispered that I was Kathy and I was an alcoholic.  I fought the tears.  They didn't ask me to share, but they went around the room and each one looked right at me and told me their story:  how it was, what happened, and how it was now.  At the end of the meeting, I didn't feel so alone.  I didn't feel so scared.  They gathered around me afterwards and asked if I wanted a book.  I took one, and later went home and started reading it.  I went to the next meeting and found the same love, the same acceptance, the same hugs and smiles.  I am amazed again and again at the love and support of this fellowship.  You call me with a challenge and it lifts me up.  I call you with a challenge and it lifts me up.  I keep getting lifted up.  It just amazes me!  They told me to stick around until the miracle happened.  They didn't tell me the miracle was really a series of miracles that would never end, as long as I was willing, honest and open-minded, and had the desire.  Today I get to live life on life's terms, or as I really like to say it, I get to live life on God's terms.  It's pretty darn awesome, guys.  So if you are new, please, give this fellowship a chance.  You won't regret it.  "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path"-- my favorite words of hope from the book of AA.  Thank you for my sobriety, all of you new and old, and thank God too. 

Thoughtfood for Monday, February 9, 2009

The Language of the Heart

From the beginning, communication in AA

has been no ordinary transmission

of helpful ideas and attitudes.  

It has been unusual and sometimes unique.

Because of our kinship in suffering,

and because our common means of

deliverance are effective for ourselves

only when constantly carried to others,

our channels of contact have always been
charged with the language of the heart.

- Bill W., July 1960

 

From the Big Book:

"We have tried to hold the love of our children for their father.  We have told small tots that father was sick, which was much nearer the truth than we realized.  They struck the children, knocked out door panels, smashed treasured crockery, and ripper the keys out of pianos. In the midst of such pandemonium they may have rushed out threatening to live with the other woman forever.  In desperation, we have even got tight ourselves--the drunk to end all drunks.  The unexpected result was that our husbands seemed to like it."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 106

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that no lack of trust or fearfulness will make me disloyal to God. I pray that I may keep a strong hold on the life-line of faith. 

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 9.

Quote for the day:

 "To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others."

__Anthony Robbins

My share:

What was communicated to me in early sobriety would have done me no good, had I not been listening.  Communication is a two-way proposition. It takes to to tango, so to speak.  Sharing my experience, strength and hope with trees alone in the woods does good for no one.   Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Tuesday, February 10, 2009  

Possibilities

I have come to believe that hard times

are not just meaningless suffering

and that something good might turn up at any moment.

That's a big change for someone

who used to come to in the morning

feeling sentenced to another day of life.

When I wake up today, there are lots of possibilities.

I can hardly wait to see what's going to happen next.

I keep coming back because it works.

© 2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous,  p. 374

  From the Big Book:
"Perhaps at this pint we got a divorce and took the children home to father and mother.  Then we were severely criticized by our husband's parents for desertion.  Usually we did not leave. We stayed on and on. We finally sought employment ourselves as destitution faced us and our families."
c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p.106.  

Prayer for the day:
"I pray that I may cut away the dead branches of my life. 
I pray that I may not mind the pruning since it helps me to bear good fruit later."
c. 1939, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 10.  

Quote for the day:
"The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react." 
                                                                                             __George Bernard Shaw    

My share:
The best thing about discovering new possibilities when newly sober was that I also discovered it was just the beginning.  Posssibilities continue to be revealed.  One leads to another. Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Wednesday, February 11, 2009

 

                         Our drinking lives left our emotional selves pinched,

scraped, bent, and bruised,

if not pretty firmly warped.

So, as our experience shows, the first non drinking days

are likely to be periods of great emotional vulnerability.

Is this an extended pharmacological effect of the drinking?

Is it a natural state for anyone

recuperating from a long and extended illness?

Or does it indicate a deep flaw in the personality?

The answer doesn't matter at first.

Whatever the cause, the condition is

one we have to watch out for,

because it can tempt us to drink faster than the

eye, head, or heart can realize.

© 1998 AAWS, Living Sober,  p. 61  

From the Big Book:
"We began to ask medical advice as the sprees got closer together.  The alarming physical and mental symptoms, the deepening pall of remorse, depression and inferiority that settled down on our loved ones--these things terrified and distracted us.  As animals on a treadmill, we have patiently and wearily climbed, falling back in exhaustion after each futile effort to reach solid ground.  Most of us have entered the final stage with its commitment to health resorts, sanitariums, hospitals, and jails.  Sometimes there were screaming delirium and insanity.  Death was often near."
 c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, pp. 106-107.  

Prayer for the day:
"I pray that I may wait patiently. 
I pray that I may trust God and keep preparing myself for a better life."
c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 11.  

Quote for the day:
"There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability; there can be no peace, and ultimately no life, without community."  
__ M. Scott Peck  

My share:
I will always remain vulnerable to this sly and cunning disease, the disease that continues to taunt me with the notion that I am not really sick; the thought that I am not REALLY an alcoholic creeps stealthily into my consciousness, almost without fail, at least once or twice a year.  Without the community of Alcoholics Anonymous surrounding me and inviting me to remain a part of it, I might feel lonely enough to listen to that insidious voice within. Be Good To You, Dave.  

Thoughtfood for Thursday, February 12, 2009

 

Release

A belief in the basic spirituality of life has grown

and with it belief in a supreme and guiding power for good.

In the process of this change I can recognize

two immensely significant steps for me.

The first step I took when I admitted to myself for the first time

that all my previous thinking might be wrong.

The second step came when I first consciously wished to believe.

As a result of this experience I am convinced

that to seek is to find,

to ask is to be given.

The day never passes that I do not

silently cry out in thankfulness,

not merely for my release from alcohol,

but even more for a change that has given life new meaning, dignity, and beauty.
© 1939 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition],  pp. 355-6
 

From the Big Book:
"Under these circumstances we naturally made mistakes.  Some of them rose out of ignorance of alcoholism.  Sometimes we sensed dimly that we were dealing with sick men.  Had we fully understood the nature of the alcoholic illness, we might have behaved differently."
1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p.107.  

Prayer for the day:
"I pray that I may always have this consciousness of God. 
I pray for a new and better life through this God consciousness."
c. 1075, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 12.  

Quote for the day:
" Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.  The soul knows it not, knows no release from little things; knows not the loneliness of fear."
  __Amelia Earhart  

My share:
Sometimes my scream of thankfulness is not all that silent.  Strangers on the street have heard me shout with joy at a significant revelation or moment of clarity.  I know longer am concerned with what others may think of those actions.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Friday, February 13, 2009

 No Reservation

Most of us have believed that if we

remained sober for a long stretch,

we could thereafter drink normally. . .

We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again:

"Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic."

Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety,

we are in a short time as bad as ever.

If we are planning to stop drinking,

there must be no reservation of any kind,

nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.
©1939 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition],  p. 33

 

From the Big Book:

"How could men who loved their wives and children be so unthinking, so callous, so cruel?  There could be no love in such persons, we thought.  And just as we were being convinced of their heartlessness, they would surprise us with fresh resolves and new attentions. For a while they would be their old sweet selves, only to dash the new structure of affection to pieces once more."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 107.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may press on until the goal is reached.  I pray that I may not give up in the final stretch." 

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 13.

Quote for the day:

"Any man worth his salt will stick up for what he believes right, but it takes a slightly better man to acknowledge instantly and without reservation that he is in error." __Andrew Jackson

My share:

I continue to take inventory of my actions and when I am wrong, promptly admit it without reservation.  That is also the time for me to make amends. As time goes on, the process gets easier since I tend to make fewer errors in that department.  Now, my math homework is another story.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Sunday, February 15, 2009

An Answer

If you think you are an atheist, an agnostic, a skeptic,
or have any other form of intellectual pride
which keeps you from accepting what is in this book,

 I feel sorry for you.
If you still think you are strong enough to

beat the game alone, that is your affair.

But if you really and truly want to

quit drinking liquor for good and all,
and sincerely feel that you must have some help,
we know that we have an answer for you.
It never fails if you go about it with one half the zeal
you have been in the habit of showing when getting another drink.
Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition],  p. 193
 

From the Big Book:

"And even if they did not love their families, how cold they be so blind about themselves?  What had become of their judgment, their common sense, their will power?  Why could they not see that drink meant ruin to them?  Why was it, when these dangers were pointed out that they agreed, and then got drunk again immediately?"

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, pp.107-108

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may be an instrument of the Divine Power.  I pray that I may do my share in remaking the world."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 15.

Quote for the day:

"If you gain, you gain all. If you lose, you lose nothing.  Wager then, without hesitation, that He exists."  __Blaise Pascal

My share:

Atheists, and gay people often take exception to reciting the Lord's Prayer at the end of a meeting. Granted, it is denominational, but it was an integral part of the early success of our fellowship. The Serenity Prayer is a suitable replacement because it also enhances the concept of a higher power, a universal spirit of goodness, that power greater than ourselves, that is doing in our lives what we alone are incapable of.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Monday, February 16, 2009

Subject:  SPIRITUALLY   ALIVE

 

If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this! If you're spiritually dead, you won't want to read it. If you're spiritually curious, there is still hope! Why Go To AA? An AA goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to AA every Week. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 experiences over and over. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the AA People are wasting theirs by talking at all." This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher: "I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this . They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to AA for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!" When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

Thanks to Dave E for providing this.

From the Big Book:

"Perhaps your husband has been living in that strange world of alcoholism where everything is distorted and exaggerated.  You can see that he really does love you with his better self.  Of course, there is such a thing as incompatability, but in nearly every instance the alcoholic only seems to be unloving and inconsiderate; it is usually because he is warped and sickened that he says and does these appalling things.  Today most of our men are better husbands and fathers that ever before."

c. 1939,AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 108.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may be still and commune with God. 

 I pray that I may learn patience, humility, and peace."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 16.

Quote for the day:

"God be thanked for books; they are the voices of the distant and the dead, and make us heirs of the spiritual life of past ages."

William Elley Channing

My share:

Prior to joining A. A. I had no spiritual connection at all.  My life was a series of days without purpose or meaning. I was not really living, I was merely existing.  Al that changed by working the steps and finding ways to be of service to others."

Welcome Michael K to this readership/fellowship. 

 Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Philosophy

For me, AA is a synthesis of all the philosophy I've ever read,

all of the positive, good philosophy, all of it based on love.

I have seen that there is only one law, the law of love,

and there are only two sins:

the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being,

and the second is to interfere with one's own growth.
Alcoholics Anonymous [Second Edition],  p. 551

From the Big Book:

"Try not to condemn your alcohoic husband no matter what he says or does.  He is just another very sick, unreasonable person.  Treat him, when you can, as though he had pneumonia.  When he angers you, remember that he is very ill."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 108.

Prayer for the day:

I pray that I may meet God in quiet communion.  I pray that I may partake of the soul-food which God has provided for me."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb.  17.

Quote for the day:

"Mere unbelief in a personal God is no philosophy at all."

__ Albert Einstein

My share:

Prior to my involvment with A.A., asking me what my philosophy of life was would have elicited a response something like, "Huh?"

Today, I not only understand that I have a philosophy; I know its basic tenets include a positive and loving sense of service to others. Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Wednesday, February 18, 2009

 

Usefulness

We hear a lot in meetings that

a grateful alcoholic doesn't get drunk.

What I have found, though,

reaches far beyond feeling grateful,

and that is feeling useful.

I believe that when I am grateful,

It is usually for what I have been given.

However, when I am useful,

it is for what I am able to give.

If nothing else, the program of AA

has offered me the ability to be useful.

And for that, I am eternally grateful.
AA Grapevine, February 2009, Vol. 65 No. 9,  p. 53 

 From the Big Book:
"We realize some men are thoroughly bad-intentioned, that no amount of patience will make any difference.  An alcoholic of this temperament may be quick to use this chapter as a club over your head. Don't let him get a way with it.  If you are positive he is one of this type you may feel you had better leave.  Is it right to let him ruin your life and the lives of your children?  Especially when he has before him a way to stop his drinking and abuse if he really wants to pay the price."
c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 108.  

Prayer for the day:
 "I pray that I may put all my difficulties in God's hands and leave them there. 
I pray that I may fully trust God to take care of them."
c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation. Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb 18.  

Quote for the day:
"Our chief usefulness to humanity rests on our combining power with high purposes.  Power undirected by high purpose spells calamity, and high purpose by itself is utterly useless if the power to put it into effect is lacking."
 __Theodore Roosevelt  

My share: My higher purpose is to be of service to others, but nothing will be accomplished without the help of my higher power. Be Good To You, Dave  

Thoughtfood for Thursday, February 19, 2009

 

                                                                      Footprints

Stepping into the first footprint that led from

the dismal swamp of alcoholism

toward the sunlight of sobriety would not take me far enough.

Would I muddle along some little trail of my own in the weeds,

vaguely paralleling the clearly marked AA road?

Or would I choose to follow in the exact

footsteps of the A.A.'s who had preceded?

The choice was up to me. . .

Since I had already taken Step One,

I could decide to stop right there.

I could just dry up, period. 

I could survive like a raisin the rest of my life.
AA Grapevine, January 1970, Vol. 26 No. 8

From the Big Book:

"The problem with which you struggle usually falls within one of four categories:  ONE:  Your husband may be only a heavy drinker. His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only on certain occasions.  Perhaps he spends too much money for liquor.  It may be slowing him up mentally and physically, but he does not see it.  Sometimes he is a source of embarrassment to you and his friends.  He is positive he can handle his liquor, that it does him no harm, that drinking is necessary in his business. He would probably be insulted if he were called an alcoholic.  This world is full of people like him.  Some will moderate or stop altogether, and some will not.  Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To  Wives, pp. 108-109.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may follow God's guidance, so that spiritual success shall be mine.  I pray that I may never doubt the power of God and so take thing into my own hands."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb 19.

Quote for the day:

"Lives of great men all remind us we can make out live sublime.  And, departing, leave behind us footprints on the sands of time."

__Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

My share:

I have to accept that I will leave some footprints behind because I can identify the footprints others before me have left imprinted on my soul. Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Friday, February 20, 2009

 

 

 

From the Big Book: "The problem with which you struggle usually falls within one of four categories:  Two: Your husband is showing lack of control, for he is unable to stay on the wagon even when he wants to.  He often gets entirely out of hand when drinking.  He admits this is true, but is positive that he will do better.  He has begun to try, with or without your cooperation, various means of moderating or staying dry. Maybe he is beginning to lose his friends.  His business may suffer somewhat.  He is worried at times, and is becoming aware that he cannot drink like other people.  He sometimes drinks in the morning and through the day also, to hold his nervousness in check.  He is remorseful after serious drinking bouts and tells you he want to stop.  But when he gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how he can drink moderately next time.  We think this person is in danger.  These are the earmarks of a real alcoholic.  Perhaps he can still tend to business fairly well,   He has be no means ruined everything. As we say among ourselves, 'He wants to want to stop.'"
c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 109.  

Prayer for the day:
 "I pray that I may believe that God is ready and willing to supply me with all that I need.  I pray that I may ask only for faith and strength to meet any situation."
c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 20.  

Quote for the day: "Human beings are the only creatures who are able to behave irrationally in the name of reason."  __Ashley Montagu  

My share: Any progress I made toward becoming a useful member of society was stiffled when I began drinking alcoholically.  No continuation of that progress was possible until I experienced that moment of clarity.  That moment of realization, that something had to be done, has ultimately brought me to this day.  Today I will find out whether I am accepted by the University of Arizona for transfer this fall.  Think good thoughts and Be Good To You, Dave.  

Thoughtfood for Saturday, February 21, 2009

Simplicity

The simple words "Thy Will Be Done"

and the simple ideas of honesty,

and of helping others are taking on a new meaning for me.

I should not be surprised to find myself

coming to the astounding conclusion

that God, whoever or whatever He may be,

is eminently more capable of running this universe than I am.

At last I believe I am on my way.

©1939 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition], p. 377

From the Big Book:
The problem with which you struggle usually falls within one of four categories: Three: This husband has gone much further than husband number two.  Though once like number two, he became worse.  His friends have slipped away, his home is a near-wreck and he cannot hold a position.  Maybe the doctor has been called in, and the weary round of sanitariums and hospitals has begun.  He admits he cannot drink like other people, but does not see why.  He clings to the notion that he will yet find a way to do so.  He may have to come to the point where he desperately wants to stop but cannot. His case presents additional questions which we shall try to answer for you. You can be quite hopeful of a situation like this."
c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, pp. 109-110.  

Prayer for the day:
"I pray that no emotional upsets will hinder God's power in my life. 
I pray that I may keep a calm spirit and a steady heart."
c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 21.  

Quote for the day: "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."  __Leonardo da Vinci  

My share:
 It's hard to focus on the realities of being a recovered alcoholic when life is upon me.  So much is going on in my life today.  I have an important audition this morning hoping to become a member of the Arizona Repertory Theatre Company, and another audition this afternoon for video/film projects at Pima College.  I may not have time to reach out and help another alcoholic today but can acknowledge my gratitude for the opportunities I face today as a direct result of alcoholics reaching out to help me. None of this would have been possible without that help.  What could be simpler than that?   Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Sunday, February 22, 2009

Decision

It is by circumstance rather than by any

virtue that we have been driven to AA,

have admitted defeat, have acquired the rudiments of faith,

and now want to make a decision to turn our will and our lives

over to a Higher Power.
©1953 AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 38

From the Big Book:

"The problem with which you struggle usually falls within one of four categories: 

Four: "You may have a husband of whom you completely despair.  He has been placed in one institution after another.  He is violent, or appears definately insane when drunk.  Sometimes he drinks on the way home from the hospital.  Perhaps he has had delirium tremens.  Doctors may shake their heads and advise you to have him committed.  Maybe you have already been obliged to put him away.  This picture may not be as dark as it looks.  Many of our husbands were just as far gone.  Yet they got well."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 110.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may live the way God wants me to live.  I pray that I may get into that stream of goodness in the world."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 22.

Quote for the day:

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."  __Ralph Waldo Emerson

My share:

I decided to adopt the A.A. way of life, its "Design for Living".  Things began to change almost overnight.  The doors of opportunity seemed to open all around me. I had to ask if maybe those doors hadn't always been there but were hidden from my view by the blockade, the obfuscation my alcoholism had constructed.  Perhaps.  What really matters is that I was finally able to see them and open them.  Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Monday, February 23, 2009

 

Just try it.  Drive with an easy rein; don't worry;

seek and be with the Group as much as you possibly can.

Coast along with us, work with us,

and you will gradually find fear being replaced by confidence,

doubts taking wing; depression being replaced by happiness

and faith in yourself and others and in the future emerging

into the full light of everyday living.

Just try it; keep dry, think. . .

a little plea for help from some greater Power.

Have patience and you will get

the answer to real living and happiness.

Then try to return just a little of all that has been given you

by trying to pass it on to others who are sick and need help.

It's the road to the top of the mountain--into the sun--and it's yours for the effort.
Reprinted from Box 1980: The AA Grapevine, November 1944, Vol. 1 No. 6

From the Big Book:

"Lets' now go back to husband number one.  Oddly enough, he is often difficult to deal with.  He enjoys drinking.  It stirs his imagination.  His friends feel closer over a highball.  Perhaps you enjoy drinking with him yourself when he doesn't go too far.  You have passed happy evenings together chatting and drinking before your fire.  Perhaps you both like parties which would be dull without liquor.  We have enjoyed such evenings ourselves;  we had a good time.  We know all about liquor as a social lubricant.  Some, but not all of us, think it has its advantages when reasonably used."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 110.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may learn to live the abundant life.  I pray that I may enjoy a close contact with God this day and be glad in it."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 23.

Quote for the day:

"Life is all about timing...the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available...the unattainable...attainable.  Have the patience, wait it out.   It's all about timing." 

 __Stacey Charter

My share:

I believe the greatest asset I've acquired over the last few years of sobriety is patience.  I couple that with tolerance and discovered serenity.  Be Good To You, Dave.

Discovery

I've learned since being in AA that

the more I worry about me loving you,

and the less I worry about you loving me, the happier I'll be.
       I discovered a fellowship of human beings that

I'd never seen before.

I learned how to have self-respect through work that

AA gave me to do.

I learned how to be a friend. . .

I have learned that the more I give, the more I will have;

the more I learn to give, the more I learn to live.
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [Second Edition], pp. 538-9

 

From the Big Book:

"The first principle of success is that you should never be angry.  Even though your husband becomes unbearable and you have to leave him temporarily, you should, if you can, go without rancor.  Patience and good temper are most necessary."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 111.

 

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may make each visitor desire to return.  I pray that I may never make anyone feel repulsed or unwanted."

c. 1975. Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day.Feb. 24.

 

Quote for the day:

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."  __Elisabeth Foley

 

My Share:

I am grateful that this program not only allows me to grow spiritually, it encourages the development of life-long friendships by virtue of the regular meetings for sharing and fellowship.

The value of belonging to a home group and participating in its operation is a lesson I love to share about. 

Be Good To You, Dave.

Thoughtfood for Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Immunity

We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again:

"Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic."

Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety,

we are in a short time as bad as ever.

If we are planning to stop drinking,

 there must be no reservation of any kind

nor any lurking notion that someday

we will be immune to alcohol.
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition], p. 41

From the Big Book:

"Our next thought is that you should never tell him what he must do about his drinking.  If he gets the idea that you are a nag or a killjoy, your chance of accomplishing anything useful may be zero.  He will use that as an excuse to drink more.  He will tell you he is misunderstood. This may lead to lonely evenings for you.  He may seek someone else to console him--not always another man."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 111. 

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may do my share in making a better world. 
I pray that I may be part of the cure for the ills of the world."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours a Day,  Feb. 25.

Quote for the day:

"Efficiency is doing things right; effectiveness is doing the right things." 
                                                                                                     __Peter F. Drucker

My share:

I noticed that in the advice to wives, our founders warned against confrontation and accusation, knowing that a real alcoholic will resist help more vehemently when the truth is boldly displayed. So, we are admonished to always seek to do the next best thing because that is more effective than efficient. 

A personal note:  My audition went well for the College of Fine Arts and I got word this morning that I have been admitted to the University of Arizona.  Good news for me as I prepare to open the musical "Footloose" at Pima College tomorrow night. I am jazzed.

Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Thursday, February 26, 2009

 

Selfishness

Selfishness -- self-centeredness!  

That, we think, is the root of our troubles.

Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion,

self-seeking, and self-pity,

we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.

Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation,

but we invariably find that at some time

in the past we have made decisions

based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition], p. 74

    From the Big Book:
"Be Determined that your husband's  drinking is not going to spoil your relations with your children or your friends.  They need your companionship and your help.  It is possible to have a full and useful life, though your husband continues to drink.  We know women who are unafraid, even happy under these conditions.  Do not set your heart on reforming  your husband.  You may be unable to do so, no matter how hard you try."
c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p. 111.  

Prayer for the day:
"I pray for the realization that God has everything I need. 
I pray that I may know that His power is always available."
c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 26.  

Quote for the day: "
Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness. 
Listen to it carefully."  __Richard Bach  

My share:
I mentioned yesterday that I was admitted to the University of Arizona.  Today I'd like to report that the preview performance of the musical Footloose was met with acclaim by the 300 or so people assembled to see it.  We have a hit on our hands.  I don't consider inviting you all to share this success with me to be, in any way, self-seeking or self-centered.  I needn't apologize for what I do or that I do it well.  On the contrary, I trust that to promote the success I am finding in the theatre may serve as an example to others that in sobriety, anything is possible.  Be Good To You, Dave

Thoughtfood for Friday, February 27, 2009  

Essentials

Any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems
in the light of our experience can recover
provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts.
He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.
We find that no one need have difficulty

with the spiritual side of the program.

        Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery.
But these are indispensable.
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition], p. 399

From the Big Book:

"We know these suggestions are sometimes difficult to follow, but you will save many a heartbreak if you can succeed in observing them. Your husband may come to appreciate your reasonableness and patience.  This may lay the groundwork for a friendly talk about his problem.  Try to have him bring up the subject himself.  Be sure you are not critical during such a discussion.  Attempt instead, to put yourself in his place. Let him see that you want to be helpful rather than critical."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, p.111.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that the fever of resentment, worry, and fear may melt into nothingness.  I pray that health, joy, peace, and serenity may take its place."

c. 1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 27.

Quote for the day:

"The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense."

__Thomas Alva Edison

My share:

I've heard it said that if common sense were so common, more people would know about it.  I think common sense is a talent one must acquire and develop.  In my experience, it is an inderstanding of the next right thing and how that may benefit the common good.  Be Good To You, Dave.

PS. "Footloose" opened last night with a bang.  If you live in or near Tucson, please come see the show.  

Thoughtfood for Saturday, February 28, 2009

Happiness

I have found a joy in living that has nothing

to do with money or material success.

I know that incomparable happiness that comes from helping

some other fellow get straightened out.

Don't get me wrong.  

We are not a bunch of angels.

None of us has any notion of becoming such.

But we know that we can never go completely back to old ways

because we are traveling upward through service to others

and in trying to be honest, decent, and loving toward the world.
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition], p. 335

From the Big Book:

"When a discussion does arise, you might suggest he read this book or at least the chapter on alcoholism.  Tell him you have been worried, though perhaps needlessly.  You think he ought to know the subject better, as everyone should have a clear understanding of the risk he takes if he drinks too much.  Show him you have confidence in his power to stop or moderate.  Say you do not want to be a wet blanket; that you only want him to take care of his health.  Thus you may succeed in interesting him in alcoholism."

c. 1939, AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, To Wives, pp.111-112.

Prayer for the day:

"I pray that I may spend more time alone with God.  I pray that I may get more strength and joy from such times, so that they will add much to my work."

c.1975, Hazelden Foundation, Twenty-Four Hours A Day, Feb. 28.

Quote for the day:

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."  __Oscar Wilde

My share:

I pray I may always be counted among those in Mr. Wilde's first category.  Be Good To You, Dave